Run #1552 - The New Year's Tacky Formal

January 1, 2011

Hares: Snevil with help from some Tackies
Where: Chez Snevil, 4227 - 15A Street SW
Big Rock: BYOBR
Attendance: 33

Click here for Photos!

It was like a scene out of a movie. A really bad, bad movie. As about 25 odd hashers (and I mean freakin' ODD) gathered at Snevil and Cinderfella's Love Shack for the annual New Year's Tacky Formal, I couldn't help thinking to myself "Did Value Village explode on this movie set, or am I just really really hungover????"

There were many stars on the red, or white as it turned out, carpet. Hash Test Dummy appeared as The Flying Nun while Thunder Tits, Yes Dear and Pink Meat arrived after obviously attending a royal wedding. Frogadile Hunter portrayed the Runaway Bride, complete with her bridesmaid Jenny and Mother of the Bride Kim in tow. Grooms fighting over the bride included King Shit, Bobbin' Robbin, Tarzan and Jesus himself. I mean, Third Erection.

Rode A Dick, Princess Monkey Spanker and Mum took time from their movie set of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert to grace us with their presence, while Buried Pleasure, who was doubling as Petula Clarke for the next Austin Powers movie, also showed up in fine form. Incidentally, this scribe had to look up Petula Clarke as I'm wayyyyy too young to know who that is.

Beetlejuice came straight from her pole dancing audition at the zoo, and then in a strange turn of events ended up trading outfits with Hyena later in the day. It's Tacky Formal, Hyena, not Wacky Formal!!

Roaring Nancy did a great Red Green impression while Baby dropped in from his movie musical "Baby from the hood". James Bond stand in's included Dr. Fill, Always with Wings, Raghead, Aunty Frank, Pyro, Skewby and countless others who were pretty spiffed up for the event. It was like a true Hollywood event. Even that famous celebrity Rubbermade showed up as "Dame Edna stars as Mrs. Roper". That'll be a hit movie for sure.

The pack ran, walked and even sashayed down the streets of Altadore, proudly yelling "We're friends of Snevil's". I'm pretty sure that's how her neighbours all know her. We ran and ran and ran and then SOME hashers came upon a lovely drink stop. I personally missed the damn regroup as a small group of us proceeded to get hopelessly lost. I am not BITTER at all. We proceeded to shout "We used to be friends of Snevil's" as we handed out flyers with Snevil's real name and phone number in case they wanted to complain about whackos in the area. We told them to call any time, day or night.

Back at the Beer Shack, Guest RA Dr Fill handed out punishments like a nun with a ruler. Like a teacher with a pointer. Like a...well, you get the drift. Various heinous crimes were identified while a manly choir of King Shit, Dreary, and Skewby sung to the masses. Well, they tried to be manly. These seemingly seasoned choir members must have drunk too much champagne on New Year's Eve as they continually had to have team huddles to come up with those oh so complicated hash song like "He's the meanest" and "Here's to Fellow Hashers". Ooh, those are toughies, guys!

Several hashers were punished for fashion offenses (duh!) including many hashers with matching suit coats. Hey guys, Value Village called, they want their price tags back. Snevil was punished for wearing those hideous sequined tights and basically just for being Snevil. Lost in Space celebrated his 269th run while Aunty Frank was punished for leading the pack astray 269 times. Hardly's Uncle from Germany, Berndt, fooled us dumb Canadians into thinking his name was "Bent", and was thus appropriately named "Straight". I told him he should try introducing himself to women with that name "Nice to meet you, I'm straight". Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it! Visitor Kim was named "Chiliwacker". Reliable sources say that this was mainly due to the fact that she always affectionately names her lovers' penises "Chili". Connect the dots, people.

Plenty more food, drink and merry making occurred allowing hashers to ring in the New Year with style and grace. Well, with grace. Well, with beer as I don't even know anyone named Grace. I should really stop drinking beer while scribing. Or drink more, like my New Year's Resolution for 2011. At least I know I can keep that one!!! Happy New Year everyone.