Hares: Abandoned Pussy & Rusty Dick
Where: Stolo's Sports Bar, 16 MacEwan Drive NW
Big Rock: Jugs of Trad (in various sizes) for $10.95
Attendance: 42
If nothing else, newlywed co-hares Abandoned Pussy and Rusty Dick proved once and for all that setting a suitable trail isn't some bizarre combination of rocket science and Egyptian hieroglyphics.
And best of all, at least for them, they managed to stay married throughout the ordeal.
They used a fairly simple recipe:
Hashers gathered on a gorgeous April evening in the shadows of Nose Hill Park and just south of Airdrie to follow a trail set by Ms. Pussy and Mr. Dick, who were also new at the haring game.
They arranged for a few hills, some back alleys, a couple playgrounds and a beer stop — what more could even the most curmudgeonly of hashers want?
Then it was back to Stolo's, where getting jugs of beer was often an adventure, and an $8.95 order of nachos could also generate a bill of $24.03 or $13.06 or other random phantom numbers.
But it all worked out in the end, except for Skewbic, who frantically called the bar searching for his glasses — which were actually in his car since before the run.
In his penultimate hash before leaving for a life of Turkish luxury, Shutter Slut served as guest RA, amid all the noise and confusion over the price of a 48-ounce jug vs. a 60-ounce jug, which were actually the same, or something like that.
Mr. Slut chose Skewbic, Hardly, Inspector and Twisty, aka the SHIT band, to serve as the choir. Sadly, they were able to flee Newfoundland after the previous night's Juno awards, and inflict their particular of musical misery on the hash.
After the hash gig, they'll be touring as an opening act for Courtney Love's band, Hole. Think about it.
There were plenty of offences, real and imagined, for Mr. Slut to recognize. For instance:
Perhaps the newlyweds could help him, or maybe not.<.li>
On-On!
Duke of Hurl