Run #1499,1500,1501 - Calgary H3's 1500 Runs Celebration

Okay, everybody, I'd like to start this scribbling on a serious note...and I'm sure all hashers share this heartfelt sentiment...a HUGE thank you to all the people who put together this amazing weekend! It obviously took a lot of time & effort to get this whole thing organized, and you all did an amazing job! What a great time that was...so again...Thank You!!!

Now that that's out of the way, here's the Reader's Digest version of our weekend...condensed for easy consumption for those who weren't there, in body or in spirit....


Run 1499 - Red Dresses

July 2, 2010

Hare: Pyro
Where: Len's Den
Big Rock: The perfect accessory for your red dress
Attendance: 32

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Friday night found the hashers gathering at the old standby, Len's Den, for the 2nd kinda-annual Red Dress Run, hared by Pyro. We all checked out each other's finery in the parking lot (and tried to avert our eyes from Raghead's teeny tiny little red dress, that bordered on the obscene), explained ourselves to a couple of curious police officers, and then we were off. Due to a freak hiking accident a few days prior, I was out of running commission, so can't tell you a whole bunch about the trail, but by all accounts, it was the very best Red Dress Run anybody had ever done, ever. The walkers dished about new boyfriends (Clueless), past & present injuries (yours truly & Thunder Tits), and the importance of using clearly marked pedestrian crossings (more details later...).

We met up with the runners at the first regroup, Beckham's, full of hot waitresses & curious patrons. Bobbin hustled into the bar pretty quickly upon arrival, despite his concern about the dress code; White Balls also hurried in, because he was worried about getting lost & having to parade though this inner city neighbourhood in his lovely frock & new blond 'do! You never know what the general public's going to think of our antics. Speaking of which, Rubbermade was asked by a local resident, "is this about Gay Pride Day?". We then had a lovely conversation about future travel plans; namely, an international sex shop tour. I figure we should definitely include Amsterdam and Tokyo on that one!

The second regroup was at the bar-so-recently-known-as Pints & Half Pints, where we enjoyed some more brewskies & fraternizing with the hoi polloi. The walkers led the pack out of the bar to make our way back to Len's, but made a quick detour to Deva Dave's across the street (for anybody who doesn't know, Deva Dave does drag queen make up, wigs, shoes, and clothes). We were enjoying the naughty window dressing, which attracted the attention of fellow hashers, who carelessly crossed Edmonton Trail NOT on a crosswalk...and caused a fender bender! Oops...naturally, we all high tailed it outta there quick, and soon found ourselves back at Len's for the down downs, dinner, & drinks.

The RA for this hash was our own Dr. Fill (who was also sporting a very fetching blonde hairpiece). He started by appointing a choir: Dreary, Thunder Tits, and moi. The down downs then commenced with our illustrious hare, Pyro, followed by visitors Anneda Dick & Moby's Dick (another wig sporting gentleman), and archives Snowjob & Party Pumper....good times, these hashers! Thanks for joining us, you guys! Speaking of whom, the Dicks got the next set of down downs for not notifying Anneda's hubby that she was here for the weekend with Moby. For shame!

Next up, we had Beetlejuice & Buried Pleasure, for scurrying off together to the ladies' room upon our return...with a camera! Film at 11. Buried Pleasure was on her 50th run this evening so got another one, and a mug.

Krusty got one for being the pinch hitter filling Inspector Butt's shoes for the weekend. Mr. Butt was out on inspection.

Party Pumper & Beetle Juice were up next...for Ms. Pumper asking if Ms. Juice's shirt straps were holding anything up. We're not sure if that was more about the shirt, or what was in them!

Raghead got his for causing the earlier-mentioned accident...but really, it's understandable; who could possibly take their eyes off Raghead in that little number he had on?!

There were several wig-related down-downs..Moby's Dick for having a "signature wig", with a Cher-esque hair flip to match; and Dr. Fill & White Balls for being voluptuous blondes...with facial hair...for the evening.

To wrap up the evening, the pizza finally showed up, we all scarfed it down like a bunch of starving mongrels, and took off, so we'd be well-rested for the rest of the weekend.


Run 1500 - The Main Event

July 3, 2010

Hares: Hardly, Twisted Sister, and others
Where: Hillhurst Sunnyside Community Hall
Big Rock: Dancing on your tongue to the Plaid Tongued Devils
Attendance: 42

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Fast forward to Saturday afternoon & our gathering at the Hillhurst Community Hall for the start of a fantastic day...the Amazing Hash, organized by everybody's favourite hash couple, Twisty & Hardly. We were organized into teams, given our first clue, and we were off! Again, I was on the walking team, along with the other walking wounded (FYI, Beerslayer was suffering a bout of what she rerferred to as "flasher panty-itis"...you guys can figure that one out, right?). Our first clue had us heading for the C-Train station, where we travelled down to the Stampede ground, looking for marks among all the roadies setting up the Stampede Fairway (some real winners down there folks; it's too bad Clueless has a new beau, we coulda set her up with Bubba or Cletis).

Our next clue led us to the next C-Train station, where we travelled south...waaay south...to Canyon Meadows & into Fish Creek. We wended our way to the first beer & snack stop (yes, snacks...which were greatly appreciated on this 4 hour tour), & were eventually joined by others. The first to show up was Chick Lick, who sauntered in with Twisty. According to Chickie, she got abandoned by her team, but later, it seemed that SHE was the one who dumper HER team - specifically, trading Krusty for 2 beers. It seemed to affect Krusty, as he showed up to the regroup AFTER Whale Wanker! He was really thrown off his game, apparently! There were a few hashers, FRBs mostly, who showed up without their teams, but eventually everybody made it.

After quaffing our beers in the lovely sunshine, off we went, back to the train, to head north once again. Some random C-Train adventures:

We disembarked at the Stampede station once again, to find the second regroup behind the Esso on MacLeod. Yay, more beers! In the parking lot, iPrick gave me a crash course in Mandarin swears (because Baby never would). Thanks, iPrick! I can now swear in 26 languages. Auntie Frank then pointed out to me that Rubbermade spent the whole run with Frank's cock in her hand (okay, a shuttlecock, but that also sounds pretty dirty).

So...then, back on the train & back to the Community hall. Mmmmmm....dinner....soooo gooooood. *drool*. It was good. Real good.

All right, you guys, I guess I got kind of drunk, because now that I look at my notes, they're a little fuzzy. I'm a dingbat, what can I say? Anyhow, I'll try to piece it together...

RA extrordinaire, Rubbermade, put togher a choir consisting of Sticky Lips, Moby's Dick, Party Pumper, & Master Beater. A lovely choir it was, very melifluous! Naturally, our wonderful hares were honoured first, for putting together one helluva fun run! Thanks again, you guys.

So I've already mentioned a bunch of the antics that people got down downs for (train pole dancing, trading teammates for beers, shuttlecock grabbing, and the like), so I won't mention them again!

Other down downs include (but may not be limited to...see earlier reference to my being drunk):

Then...the moment we'd all been waiting for...the winners of The Amazing Hash! So...in 3rd place was team 3: King Shit, Party Pumper, Pull My Woody, and SnowJob.

Okay...now here's where my notes get really cryptic. A couple of other teams came in 2nd and 1st, but in my infinite stupor, I didn't write them down. D'oh! Sorry, guys. I'm pretty sure Snowblower, Dr. Fill, Buried Pleasure, & Moby's Dick came in 1st...but it may have been 2nd? Oh, hell. All I really know is that team 3 came in 3rd, team 4 (Dreary, Baby, and some other members I didn't write down) got an honourable mention. I guess I'll just finish my account of Saturday by saying that, if the scribe was too piled to remember what went on, it was a great success of an evening!

Now...on to Sunday!


Run 1501 - The Hangover

July 4, 2010

Hares: Suck No Evil and Krusty
Where: Bebo Grove
On-In: Chick Lick's BBQ Base
Big Rock: Big Rock Beergatitas... awesome!
Attendance: 30

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A smaller, much quieter, group of hashers met at Bebo Grove for a mosquito-infested trot through Fish Creek Park. Thank God there's no malaria around here...especially for hares, Krusty & Snevil. Krusty had literally dozens of bites all over him...or was it just a nasty rash? He did mention that it burned when he peed...Krusty, you should really go to the clinic & get that shit cleared up. I once again joined the walkers. We followed Snevil's directions until we met her at a bridge, at which point we asked her which direction we should go, and she said, "um...either this way...or that way". So...we went thattaway, without success. We then made our way back to the parking lot, to wait for the rest of the Hash to show up.

Luckily, we weren't the only ones who got lost...just as we arrived, Skewbie came jogging down the trail...and we were soooo happy to see him, because he had the keys to the truck with a bunch of beer in the back...so we made our own regroup. After about half an hour, Buried Pleasure queried, "where's Sticky Lips?"...she was walking with us, but we seemed to have lost her somewhere along the way. Nice of one of us to notice! Turns out that she found her way to the real regroup, & returned with the runners, Trad in hand.

So, after hanging out in the parking lot for a bit, we all drove up to Chickie's Coop, for another deeeeee-lish dinner. Thanks, Chickie, for the feast...ribs, corn on the cob, fantastic salad...the list goes on...and lest we forget...BEERGARITAS! They were a hit (more later). Our RA for the evening was old timer, Dreary, and he chose to dispense the down downs sans choir...probably because we were all busy stuffing our faces.

Many stories then abounded about past runs, past injuries, wild horses eating all the marks, and blind guys running away from angry wasps. My personal favourite reminiscence was Dreary's...seems that Shelaleigh's had a sign at the bar when they first opened, saying, "free beer for the rest of the evening for anybody who can finish a yard of beer!" After one week of hosting the hash, the bar very wisely added, "Hash House Harriers excluded". There were tons of great stories shared about the past runs...but folks, I'll be honest with you, I've been working on this scribe since Monday, and I'm done wore out! Let's just say that the company's been highly entertaining from the get-go in this group!

Isn't it awfully good to be a Hasher?

On-On!

Booty Camp


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