Run #1498 - Loco Lou's Rules

February 8, 2010

Hares: Sticky Lips & Pull My Woody
Where: Loco Lou's Grill & Bar, 1324 - 16 Avenue NW
Big Rock: mmm! mmm! mmm!
Attendance: 30

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Ahhh 1498. 1498 to a hasher is:

1. The year Girolamo Savonarola, ruler of Florence was executed for criticizing His Holiness, the Pope.
    
2. The year John Cabot left port on an expedition, never to be seen again.
    
3. The year Girolamo Savonarola died.
    
4. The run that co-hare Sticky Lips had to draw co-hare Pull My Woody explicit instructions on how to proceed the night of the honeymoon!

All are of course true, as this intrepid scribe has done exhaustive research on the topic.

The run, once again, started at Loco Lou's on 16th avenue on a winter night that was just the perfect temperature for a jaunt through the neighborhoods along 16th. Hashers circled up outside and after a brief archive introduction (Garden Gnome Shagger said his wife was out of town, personally I think the gnomes had access to the "special" water used by the Russian women's Olympic team, and were uncatchable.) The hares were brought into the circle to explain how the evenings run would proceed. At least that is what we were told.

It actually looked like Sticky had to draw fiancée Pull My Woody detailed diagrams of how the post wedding celebrations would proceed. Several hashers were heard to exclaim that an actual demonstrating should have occurred instead. With all of the innuendo finished, the hash was released, and off we went!

The run was short and sweet. Well, it actually looked like the same run that was set from Loco Lou's last time, just in reverse. After this was mentioned Pull My Woody was overheard to say that it was in fact a completely different run, and that it was not him who had been observed pulling his woody outside of the home of the gleeful neighborhood resident who, at the last Loco Lou's run, informed several hashers exactly what she thought of a bunch of people out for a nice run and enjoying themselves.

The pace then picked up as the FRB's had spotted the 2 favorite letters for every hasher, BN. The regroup was at a local school, which had the look of either parent teacher interviews, some sort of children's production or a PTA meeting was going on. Several vehicles were spotted driving around the block to come in the other entrance of the parking lot rather than put their precious vehicles in between a hasher and the beer. All in all this was probably a good choice.

With the regroup beer 'n schnapps finished, we proceeded to return to the bar for the evening festivities to commence. On the way back, Booty Camp started to complain that the pace needed to be picked up, as her bum was getting cold. It should be noted here that the scribe never once thought about offering to help warm aforementioned buns up. Nope, not at all.

With the run over, beer and food ordered, guest RA King Shit quickly brought order to the mob. Abandoned Pussy, Booty Camp and Dreary were appointed as the choir, and after singing themselves a song, the down downs commenced. In actual fact they commenced after Sucks everything was appointed as the house elf.

• Newly appointed house elf Sucks Everything was brought up for down downs for sucking the life out of the hash 269 times. He also complained about the beer being cold. *sigh*
   
• Pull My Woody and Sticky Lips received their just reward for haring the run. Pull My Woody also received a pamphlet titled "Living With Cougars" Sticky was seen filing her finger nails sharpening her claws as Pull My Woody read the pamphlet.
   
• Abandoned Pussy and Hubby were next up. Apparently Hubby was heard to exclaim that the hash run was the only exercise he had all week. As Abandoned Pussy was slow in finishing her down downs, the crowd gleefully sang "oh why are we waiting, slowly masturbating..." Oh, the irony!
   
• Garden Gnome Shagger for being an Archive. Or for shagging Garden Gnomes. No one knows exactly which one as GGS was observed returning from a "check back" alone, and out of breath.
   
• Hash Test Dummy and Mike Hawk received beer for technology on trail. Mike Hawk, it should be noted, was without Broke Back Mount Me for run and was seen "steaming" after conversing with Hash Test. Hmm. Conversing. So that is what the kids are calling it these days.
   
• It was beer for Hardly and Twisty as they had a picture of Hash Rules. Everyone knows the hash has no rules, just many many weird and perverse traditions.
   
• Hardly, Manopause and Dreary were up next. It seems it was time to pass the hash shit that Manpause had carried to a new owner. Hardly was the first recipient for pulling a Sneevil, and getting lost. It was then passed to Dreary for getting lost in a traffic circle. Hey, in his defense, 98.5% of all Calgarians have no idea what to do in a traffic circle. The other 1.5% have been observed driving many kilometers out of their way to avoid one.

With "On to Piss" being called, the hashers continued to socialize. It should be noted that the wings at Loco's are spectacular! A good time was had by all, and Manopause was forgiven for not paying his bar tab, as it was discovered at the last minute that he had paid it downstairs.

On-On!

Shutter Slut

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