Run #1495 - Tiptoe... Thru the Fence Hole

January 18, 2010

Hares: Shutter Slut & King Shit
Where: Loco Lou's Grill & Bar, 1324 - 16 Avenue NW
Big Rock: On trail (but be vewy vewy quiet!)
Attendance: 39

Click here for Photos!

The faithful members of the Calgary Hash congregated at Loco Lou's on a lovely Monday night for another run set by the mostly amusing duo, King Shit & Shutterslut. Have you guys heard the puns these two come up with? Oy. Anyhow, the bar turned out to be great, & I'm sure we'll be back there sometime. They liked us too — I know, I asked.

Before we headed out, Rubbermade needed to make a pit stop, but asked us to all make a bunch of noise, so we couldn't hear her pee. I think we did okay (if anybody hasn't noticed, I am a loudmouth), but King Shit did try to take her picture through the space between the door & the doorjamb. Incorrigible, that one! Luckily, by the time Rubbermade came along, Blue Balls had finished using the loo...the Ladies' loo....brave Blue Balls....who refuses to be confined by the "suggested" washroom gender designations!

Our resident legal counsel, Sticky Lips, was absolutely exhausted before the run, as she had to work and concentrate....ALL DAY! Brave of her to come out after such a gruelling day.

The run was a great one...I don't think anybody fell, which was a definite bonus, considering how rink-like the sidewalks are in this town. Some of us were so "on", we never hit a check...some were so "off", they gave up & went back to the bar (always a wise move, in my book). I thought I was okay since I was with one of the Hares...alas & alack, at one point, Shutterslut was heard to exclaim, "We're close to the beer near. I don't know where we are." Yep, just like that, in the same breath.

After ignoring where he was going, we managed to hook up with the rest of the pack, & through a hole in a fence, into the Home Depot parking lot. At this point on the trail, Brokeback Mount Me encountered an oh-so-pleasant civilian, and the following conversation ensued:

Nice, eh? Don't worry, folks, good old Brokeback has a tough skin. And also, her devoted hubby, Mike Hawk, gave her a present on trail...a beautiful tulip. Okay...maybe not beautiful, but I guess it was kinda cute. The gesture was sweet...except for the fact that it was some random thing he found lying on the sidewalk. Damn that Snowblower...he NEVER finds me random sidewalk presents!

Carrying on, some of us followed the marks, which took us through North Hill mall...yes, the boys had marks in the mall....and then back to Loco Lou's. We settled in for the down downs...

The lovely RAs, Buried Pleasure and Abandoned Pussy, did a bang-up job. Hey...did you see those crowd control skills of A.P??? The Hash is no match for somebody who teaches 9 year olds. Abandoned Pussy, I admire your fortitude.

As an aside, do you remember earlier this year, where it was all the rage to give Abandoned Pussy new hash names whenever possible? Well, folks, in a matter of mere days, our beloved A.P. will no longer be abandoned, as her Limey hubby will be joyously rejoining her here....I see a new name coming your way, young lady!!

Because we simply couldn't bear to have nobody on the hash who was abandoned...neophyte Hasher Ron was bestowed with a hash name on Monday....he will now forever be known as "Abandoned Dick". Or until we rename him. Abandoned Dick seemed to have a little problem with his down down beer...but don't worry, folks, he'll learn to hold his beer yet!

Speaking of names, Ali was given a down-down for trying to conceal the truth about his surname...but we found him out...his real name is......Ali Smith.

Chicky, Thunder Tits, & Twisty all got down-downs for escaping death...they had a close call with a car. And in a car vs. pedestrian battle...the car always wins.

Baby didn't bring his horn because he was scared that his baby soft lips would freeze to the mouthpiece. What a baby!

Maple drank his down down for his 350th run in record time! I didn't even see him do it; I blinked, & the beer was gone. Nice job, Maple!

Yours truly got a down down because everybody was jealous of her awesome Sex Panther t-shirt...that's the smell of desire, m'lady.

Brokeback Mount me thought she was going to be getting rid of her newly-acquired hash shit this evening...much to her chagrin, not only did she not get rid of her existing hash shit (which, by the way, she festooned with flames, in honour of the Olympic torch being in our fine city this day), she acquired a second, from Buried Pleasure, for making fun of her & threatening to tattle on her...for some minor infraction. Good one, Brokeback....Karma!

Speaking of our red-headed devil child (they all are, really, those redheads) & her firey locks, Dastardly got a down down (out of his absolutely filthy hash shit!!) for comparing Brokeback's new haircut to his dog. For like 5 minutes. And for leading Skewbie astray on trail, but really, Skewbie, you should know better than to trust that guy!