Run #1479 - The Hash Triathalon:
Hash Stag, COGS with DOGS & Kids and The Mongolian Horde

October 26, 2009

Hares: Kebab and Abbey Neck It
Where: Mongolie Grill
Big Rock: accompanied by a gift of 12 year old Scotch from the Istanbul HHH
Attendance: 40

Click here for Photos!

ONE - Stag for Mike Hawk and Brokeback Mount Me

It was a cold and stormy morning on October 24th. Winter arrived with a fury of flurries. Knowing that the steamy events to happen that night would melt the snow and thaw all ice in Calgary. The hash had decided to participate in an orgy of fun at the first of many pre marriage parties for Mike Hawk and Brokeback Mount Me. Who would expect that 50 perverts would arrive to celebrate this event. Rubbermade where were you? There were more than 2 penis' per woman most on public display. Many penis' were also eaten in public. Big Rock was cheap, but more expensive than many of the women present. We watched 2 great football games when not watching Mike Hawk display his new boob job result and women chewing on male like appendages. After the first hour of debauchery and chowing down on low cal cholesterol free fried food, we played strip golf, pool, drove race cars and smashed balls into a screen. This was a prelude to getting your balls smashed at the local strip joint. Enough said about that as more kids read the hash trash than adults. Congratulations to all that survived a great night of fun. Use of the various items of lube etc donated with caution or donate them to sucks everything. On On to the Dominican Republic for more fun.

TWO - Dastardly does it again

What more devious thing could a hare do than mark a trail with small bits of flour on trails covered in snow. Talk about a pack going the wrong way, many ways. It was a live trail, live animal that is: deer, beaver, magpies, blue Jays and a solitary Cougar. No not RubberMade but a four legged one. Duke of Hurl actually showed up with a dog, the only bigger surprise would have been the duke showing up with a kid. A river crossing with snow sets a new standard for shiggy. A warm house (after a beer stop) with Smokies and the best Apple Crumble ever, however made up for the potential misery. All in all, a very pleasant day in Redwood Meadows.

THREE - The Mongolian Horde meets its match with the Hash

How does one define the Mongolian Horde in Calgary other than crack heads, women of the night, and other various interesting specimens aimlessly looking for a place to crash that we encountered on the trail. The Calgary police have done well cleaning up the downtown core (by displacing the normal crowd) further afield. Fortunately it was cold enough the Abbey Nekkit wasn't Nekkit on the run. Rubbermade looked her best, definitely the class of the local trash we met on the trail.

Other trail highlights included:

Sticky lips meeting some of her just released culprits;
Whining walkers that the Beer stop would be far away and that the runners would beat them back to the ON IN;
Endless pavement with a hare at a corner stating: there should be a mark here somewhere;
The Head RA and GM riding back to the ON In in the back of a pickup truck;
King Shit racing the above pickup truck back from the beer stop to the On In and beating it much to the chagrin of Dr Phil who as they froze their butt in the back of the truck wondered if we were driving to Red Deer; Stated the honourable guru of TV wisdom "How could a one legged gimp beat us back to the bar".

What did Genghis Khan eat?

What did Genghis Khan eat? Whatever he wanted to eat. After a long march or great battle, the warriors would sling an iron shield over a hot campfire and whatever fresh food was found in the surrounding area was tossed into the Mongolian Barbeque for a feast. So the hashers collected old pots on the trail, threw in some brew and various road kill found on the dark and littered strewn streets of Cowtown. Some got stringy pierces of meat, others had soft hamburgers (read Police horse droppings). Quite a way to end the trail. Baby's comment about the food: "quite ordinary, I can cook much better" — so Hyena volunteers to lay a trail that ends at baby's oriental feast — once Baby picks the night.

Down Downs were awarded for various offenses:

Skewbie — because he needed punishment for bashing without hashing
Kebab — winning the hash thingy
Dr Phil and others — riding in the truck
King Shit — 950 runs — time to get a life
Hardly — racing in brand new shoes
Our slut visitors: Shutter slut, Edmontonslut and Just Ewen
Pull my Woody: for grabbing a horse's ass (RA) on the trial rather than a dog's ass
Lay'em In Snow for finally having a sexual innuendo on trail.

On-On!

Hyena