Run #1441 - Gispert Gallop
February 9, 2009
Hares: Dreary & Hardly
Where: Chelsea's Pub & Grill, #6 200-52nd Street NE
Big Rock: Cheap Jugs!
Attendance: 30
Hares: Dreary & Hardly
Where: Chelsea's Pub & Grill, #6 200-52nd Street NE
Big Rock: Cheap Jugs!
Attendance: 30
Hardly and Dreary would like everyone to believe that the reason they chose to co-hare a hash on the mean streets of NE Calgary was because Hardly grew up there and Dreary once lived in a nearby hood yada, yada, blah, blah.
But hidden behind Hardly's mild-mannered, almost Mr. Rogers-like persona lurks a deep, dark secret: Hardly's both an honourary member and unabashed supporter of the FOB Killers gang, which knows a thing or two about dealing out punishment.
Hardly organized a hash in the area as an homage to the FOB Killers, who are embroiled in a death struggle with their bitter rivals, the FOB gangbangers.
Is it any wonder that hashers could navigate the icy streets around the Marlborough-area hood without getting, say, shot in a drive-by or stabbed to death? Or that they could drink beer in a quasi-seedy bar without fear of being sprayed by bullets?
Of course not, not after Hardly, in an exceedingly wise move, arranged for a cease-fire so the hash could gather on a relatively mild February night.
Oh, sure, it was a little creepy — the bar without a lighted sign to show exactly where it was, the steel-reinforced front door, the clientele that looked and acted as though they might have spent some time in rehab somewhere along the line. Bulletproof vests were optional.
But Hardly managed to control the turf, at least for one night, and make it safe for the usual hash silliness to take place.
Oh, sure, there were challenging moments, such as when Hardly and Dreary, who have probably 165 years of hashing experience between them, decided it was a great idea to make true trail run down dark, icy alleyways.
Luckily, no one broke their legs or their spirits on a night honouring the memory of hash founder G Gispert, who established the first Hash House Harriers in Kuala Lampur in 1938.
His twin brother, Pyro, wore a t-shirt with Gispert's picture on it as a memorial to the fallen Brit, who was killed in 1942 by the Japanese, who apparently didn't appreciate hashing, or something like that.
Dreary heatedly denies attending Gispert's first hash way back when, but grainy newsreel footage shows a figure who looks remarkably like a very young Dreary — complete with garish multi-coloured running tights — staggering through the jungle.
Who knows?
Hashers eventually made their way back to Chelsea's bar, where mass quantities of beer and incredibly cheap but tasty steak sandwiches and fries awaited. Oh, and RA Bobbin' doled out free beer to those who experienced his faux wrath.
The Throbbin' One decided to forego a hash choir, apparently figuring that any singers worth their salt were still partying after the previous night's Grammy Awards in the states. But that didn't mean the hash was devoid of musical talent.
Ms. Made and Ms. Beaver were both still semi-plastered from the weekend,
and Bobbin' was even asked by an Edmonton hasher if he was Beer Slayer's
father. Of course not, he's either her grandfather, or just a crazy
drunken uncle.
As Bobbin' conducted business, the Flames were in the process of snapping a four-game losing streak with a victory over Montreal.
But at least one bar character preferred watching Bobbin' perform his magic and the hash singing its songs.
"This is even better than the hockey game," he said, as he ordered another beer, drowning his sorrows on one more night in an endless string of them.
On-On!
Duke of Hurl
