Run #1433 - Sheep Thrills on Boxing Day
December 26, 2008
Hare: Lambchop and his friend Jill
Where: Lambchop's Sheep Farm
Big Rock: BYOBR
Click here for Photos!
Today, class, your holiday quiz is this: What is the true meaning of
Boxing Day? Is it:
A chance, once and for all, to determine if Lamb Nads indeed lives
inside a cardboard box in the Chinook Centre parking lot, with only a
motorized shopping cart for transportation.
- To find out if Dreary's rather, um, ugly boxing shorts — not to
mention his hideous running tights — was enough to attract the amorous
attention of a handicapped guy meandering down the street.
- If Twisty with a box on her head will ruin her goody-two-shoes
reputation forever and ever.
- Or if Calgary officials who defended the city's imbecilic
snow-removal policy deserve a salary that would only allow them to
afford to live in a cardboard box in the Chinook Centre parking lot.
- Possibly some combination of the above.
Those were the hot-button issues as hashers gathered on a sunny but
nippy, if -12C fits that description, Boxing Day afternoon to follow a
trail set by Mr. Lambie and his friend Jill,
who marked it with chalk and his Kiwi grandmother's ashes,
which showed up quite well atop the deep snow.
The trail meandered from 54th Avenue SW and Elbow Drive, through
hoidy-toidy hoods where the streets were in pretty rugged shape, along a
ridge overlooking the frozen Rez and the snow-capped mountains in the
distance, across Glenmore Dam, through Sandy Beach and eventually back
to the start.
Guest RA Hardly, who was also wearing a candy box atop his head, subbed
for Throbbin' Robin, who was probably stuck in a snowbank either in
Calgary or Vancouver Island or somewhere in-between. There was no
official choir, although the singing was still better than the Barenaked
Ladies murdering Jingle Bells on their Christmas special.
- To the surprise of few if any, Dreary managed to win the Hash Thingy
for the proposition from Handi-man before the hash even started. Even if
that hadn't happened, Dreary would have been a strong contender for his
- Speaking of fashion disasters, King Shit was resplendent in his
bright-red gay elf's outfit. He apparently didn't realize that the New
Year's Tacky Formal wasn't taking place for another six days.
- Inspector Butt and Duke of Hurl got to drink for frozen toes.
Inspector, a Canadian, headed back to the house when his feet got cold,
while Duke, the dumb American, plodded onward.
- Jaws had to drink for claiming that he had a strained hip flexor, when
the injury was actually a pulled groin. Rumours swirled that there was a
strong connection between Jaws' injury and King Shit's outfit, although
neither would confirm it.
- Mucky was overcome with joy — not really — about her Christmas gift
from Skewbic, a diamond-encrusted GPS. Or maybe it was cubic zirconium.
Whatever it was, sadly, it froze and didn't register the hash's distance
after she was forced to put it inside her running jacket, since Skoob
was too frugal to get a velcro band for it. So much for the
effectiveness of the cord around Mucky's neck.
- Rubber Made was trying to figure out the proper post-Christmas grace
period before it was OK again to flip off and curse motorists who think
it's a good idea to drive 30km an hour below the speed limit in the
centre or left lane. Ms. Made said Christmas was off limits for cursing,
but it was all right starting on Boxing Day. So F--- off.
- Xena and Thunder Tits took time from their busy shopping schedules to
attend the hash, which was an upset of epic proportions.
- There's no truth to the rumour that the Santa who went berserk with
the guns and flamethrower in suburban LA, killing nine people, had
planned to hide out with certain unidentified Calgary hashers. Sucks
Everything not being around lately is just a total coincidence.
- The Boxing Day hash meant Pees and Screws only had eight more days
till his self-imposed no-smoking ban takes effect.
Happy Boxing Day to one and all.
Duke of Hurl
Click here for Photos!
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