Run #1411 - Hot and Wet, That's Good, Right?

August 18, 2008

Hares: Shutter Slut, Krusty
Where: Fish Creek Park, at the south end of 24th Street
On-In: White Hart Manor Pub
Big Rock: On Trail!
Attendance: 25

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It was rather sweaty as hashers gathered once again in Fish Creek Park on the hottest Aug. 18 since 1919 — in other words, when Pyro was just starting Grade 2.

How hot was it? It was so hot in Calgary, aka Beijing West:

• The bear that was the subject of warning signs in the park decided it was better to kick back in his La-Z-Boy with a cold beverage and wait for cooler weather to maul a hasher.
   
• Rubber Made and Happy Beaver swore they wanted to wear less clothing than the female Olympic beach volleyball players, who make their teams based on speed, strength, quickness ... Oh, of course that's not true.
   
• Even Baby, Mr. Hot Fun in the Summertime, and only the summertime, whined that it was way too toasty.
   
• In an attempt to beat the 33.7C heat, hares Krusty, Shutter Slut and Peeler tried to make sure there were plenty of Fish Creek crossings, as well as cold beer and water at a re-group near a grove of trees, where even the mosquitoes were biting in slow motion.

  Luckily, all the hashers returned to the parking lot without suffering heat stroke, then headed to the cool and dark White Hart Manor Pub, where Guest RA Bobbin' Robin handled business in Dr. Fill's absence. No word on whether Dr. Fill immersed himself in an ice bath rather than battling the heat.
   

• The only people who thought the temps were tolerable were Twisty and Hardly, who just returned from Mexico, where it was a sultry and uber-humid 45C.

  "This is nothing," Twisty said, sweat dripping from her brow. "I think I'll go to the car and grab my toque and sweater."
   

• Smirk and Wet One made a relatively rare appearance. Did the heat and a chance to work on their tans entice them to come outside and play with the hash?

  Nah, it was simply that Jonah, their 5-year-old, was out drinking beer, playing poker and smoking stogies with his buddies — the kids' last shot at freedom before school starts just after Labour Day.
   

• In what could be interpreted as either punishment or a godsend, Bobbin' resurrected the tradition of making hashers sit on ice for various indiscretions. Three hashers — Wet Dreamer, Garden Gnome Shagger and Plog — committed the heinous crime of wearing M-word, half M-word and Canadian Death Race t-shirts.

  Wet Dreamer figured his frozen butt was good preparation for his upcoming month-long trip to Alaska, the Yukon, the Arctic Circle or wherever he's going.
   

• King Shit and Shutter Slut thought the Olympics consist of women's beach volleyball, and only women's beach volleyball.

  "It's designed as a spectator sport," said Shutter Slut, aka Capt. Obvious, as slobber trickled down his chin. Shutter Slut plans to research how China can end up with a 6-foot-3 woman volleyball player vs. their 4-foot-6 synchronized divers.

  Maybe there's a secret laboratory beneath the Forbidden City. Let's just hope it's air conditioned.

On-On!

Duke of Hurl

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