Run #1403 - Mike Tyson's Kanada Kwiz
June 30, 2008
Hares: Bobbin Robbin
Where: Shillelagh's Pub
Big Rock: $12 jugs of Big Rock (plus tax and tip)
Click here for Photos!
Today's quickie Canada Day-themed quiz:
Which of the following Calgary hashers has a direct link to the
formation of Canada in 1867?
- Bobbin, whose great-grandfather was trying to avoid British
authorities for that unfortunate string of bank robberies in London that
he claimed he had nothing to do with.
- Rubber Made, whose great-grandmother thought Canada was a good idea
after mistakenly believing that it was going to become the world's first
- Dr. Fill, whose long-ago relatives were trying to find a place to
land after traveling round and round and round Vancouver Island in a
primitive, rather rickety boat.
- Dreary, whose was there.
(Hint: Dreary is actually older than he looks)
Which provinces combined to form Canada?
- Ontario and Quebec, who, even then, were in the running for which
could be more obnoxious. Plus, the Leafs and Habs needed a place to
- Ontario and Ontario, and only Ontario, which is where the whole
"Toronto and Ontario are the centre of the universe" claptrap started.
- Manitoba and Saskatchewan, because people realized even at that time
they were in the middle of nowhere and no one would love them, much less
want to settle there.
- Newfoundland, ditto.
Which was an actual question asked by a real employee in a car rental
place in Seattle, which ain't all that far from Canada?
- "Is the country where Calgary's located called British Columbia?"
- "Do you have paved roads up there?"
- "What is hockey?"
- "Do people live in igloos?"
(Hint: Social studies isn't a strong suit in the American educational
Hashers gathered at a bar on Signal Hill on a sorta blustery Canada Day
Eve to follow a trail set by flag-waving, maple-syrup swilling,
uber-patriotic Canadian Bobbin, who gallantly fought the afternoon rain
and tried to make sure the chalk marks could still be seen.
Mr. B sent the pack round and round, and along contours, and up and down
— all in an effort to honour the country's 141st birthday in the best
way he knew how — walking, jogging, drinking beer, telling bad jokes,
and singing songs off-key, in some order.
There was even a beer re-group, which wasn't at Bobbin's place, much to
the chagrin of those who wanted to see the location where Rubber Made
lost her virginity — and still hasn't found it again.
It should rank behind only the Parliament building in Ottawa and the
Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington, AB., on the top 10 attractions on
Canada's National Historic Register.
Hashers eventually returned to Shillelagh's Pub, where, except for Booty
Camp's One-Pepperoni Pepperoni pizza and Duke of Hurl getting a piece of
paper in his salad, they enjoyed consuming mass quantities of food and
beer, just like the Montreal fur traders did way back when before Canada
The Viking-helmeted RA Dr. Fill, whose headgear may or may not have been
a Canadian tradition, handed out down-downs in a (Canadian words alert)
blizzard and flurry of activity. For instance:
- Skewbic drank belatedly, or again, or something, for his 400th run —
and managed to get awarded the plaque-trophy-horn monstrosity, much to
the horror of Mucky Dip, who didn't want that thing within 400 metres of
It could end up as a doorstop, a hood ornament on Skewbic's Turbo Saab,
or might be a deadly weapon if Mucky ever gets angry at Skewbic, not
that that would ever happen.
Stay tuned, as they say.
- Krusty, the Human Running Machine, decided after the beer stop that it
would be a grand idea to auto-hash with Bobbin, which prompted Dr. Fill
to target Krusty as the recipient of this week's Hash Thingy, if the
plunger showed up.
Imagine Dr. Fill's delight when Big Country was waiting back at the bar
with the Big Plunger, which was earmarked for delivery to Krusty.
Amazingly and accidentally, an unknowing Krusty helped Dr. Fill pour
down-down beer, so the RA showed mercy on him and only awarded him a
- Temporary bachelor and Calgary short-timer Big Country got nailed for a
down-down when he told some tawdry story about his pipes, auguring and a
plumber, who was not Krusty. The details are just too sordid to repeat.
- Future newlyweds, or so they claim, Brokeback Mount Me and Mike Hawk
did a variety of rather, um, inappropriate things on trail — looked at
houses, asked Dr. Fill the real estate agent about properties, held
The only thing missing was a white picket fence and 3.4 children. Booty
Camp thought Brokeback and Mr. Hawk should have just gotten a room,
which they would have done if Motel 6 wasn't already booked for
- Chick Lick got a beer for her 100th run, and Duke of Hurl was
recognized for his 169th — all of which represents $807 wasted, or well
spent, depending on your perspective.
- There was a naming, Wet Dreamer, which was pretty much courtesy of
Rubber Made and I'll Try It — so that's all that needs to be said about
And this: Happy Canada Day.
Duke of Hurl
Click here for Photos!
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