Hare: Mydol
Where: Rusty's Bar & Grill
Big Rock: Cheap & Wet
Attendance: 29
And after 146 straight days of rain, or maybe it only seemed that bad, the Weather Gods finally relented — at least a little.
Maybe they got their lifetime supply of giggles watching hashers slide around Moose Mountain on the 25th anniversary run, and just couldn't take it anymore. Perhaps they felt sorry for those who still hadn't been able to clean all the mud from between their toes.
Or they wanted to focus their energy on turning Dastardly's Redwood Meadows McMansion into a giant water slide.
Whatever the reason, the Gods smiled and turned off the spigots, allowing hashers to gather on a cool, blustery late May evening to follow a trail set by Mydol in the shadow of West Hills and the Sarcee Trail Motorway.
The sun, whatever that is, even shone briefly, or else it was simply a giant tease, one or the other.
The trail meandered around Randy Bastard's old hood, and followed his former newspaper route from back in horse and buggy days, which allowed him to wax nostalgic about his ex-neighbours and customers.
"They're all dead now," Randy said sadly.
Luckily, the mood was a bit cheerier inside Rusty's bar, where RA Dr. Fill, whose appearances had been a little hit and miss lately, something about working on his old plumbing, was there to dispense wisdom and beer to the assembled masses. For instance:
The Wandering One spent nine months deep in the heart of Texas and another nine looooooooooooooooooong months in uber-crowded and dangerous Rio, but is now heading for the wilds of western Aussieland.
Ah, love does strange things. And she even used the Texas phrase "y'all", which isn't heard much in Calgary, or Australia, for that matter.
But the latest plan calls for a four-year stint in Perth, so she should
have plenty of time to pick up tons o' local phrases.
They apparently had a lot on their minds — not in their minds, just on
their minds. And making the offence even more grievous, Krusty's house
is only a couple stone's throws away from the actual start.
Or maybe Dr. Fill awarded it because Ms. Lips looked resplendent with
the purple undergarment she'd added over her head. There's class,
there's elegance, then there's Sticky.
The legend will only grow as the years go by.
Then take that to the 100th power. Twice.
Sucks Everything, whose secret desire is for a threesome with Miley
Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus, was plotting madly to win beer for the Who
Can Park Closest to King Shit's New Car competition.
Maybe next time.
One-two-three, streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch.
But then the photo shoot abruptly ended when Snowplow figured it was more important to gossip outside with Jamie.
About the weather, no doubt.
On-On!
Duke of Hurl