Run #1391 - April Shivers
April 21, 2008
Where: Flight Deck International Bar and Grill, Harvest Hills Blvd
Big Rock: $4 pints
Click here for Photos!
Things that take less time than the 7-minute trail set by Clueless on a
cold, snowy, late April night:
- Brushing your teeth, although flossing might get it close to the
7-minute time limit.
- Sucks Everything reciting the alphabet and counting to 10, maybe — as
long as he doesn't get confused.
- Lamb Chop trying to tell a joke or story, which usually takes less
than 7 minutes — although it still seems like an eternity.
- Hyena carrying Clueless around the circle on his shoulders — think a
wiggling, giggling, walking, talking sack of potatoes — so she could
get her (wink, wink) 29 birthday spanks clocked in at 5:36. Clueless was
smitten with spanks from Mystery Spanker #14, calling it "pure and
unbridled joy that I haven't experienced since the drive-in theatre
during high school."
And that's about it.
The round-the-block, one-kilometer trail from the airplane-themed bar on
Harvest Hills Boulevard probably took Clueless 30 seconds to think about
and 15 minutes to set, give or take a minute or two.
How short was it?
It was so short Hyena only had a chance to pick up one can and one
bottle for his son's college fund. Dreary only got to blow his hash horn
once. Mucky Dip didn't even have the opportunity to get lost.
Skewbic didn't manage to break a sweat, not that he ever does. King Shit
snapped one picture. And Dr. Fill was strapped for down-down material
because what can happen in seven minutes?
A few hashers — Mucky, Fabio, Hash Test, Duke of Hurl, Erin and new
hasher Carolyn, who's still trying to recover from an unfortunate
incident in Africa with a warthog 11 years ago — did their own run
afterward, just to make the snowy drive seem worth it.
Rumours spread that the post-hash festivities were getting moved to a
nearby bar, but then the group ended up in the Airplane Flight Hangar,
or whatever it's called, after all.
- Clueless observed her 21st birthday for the umpteenth time, and got
not one, but two, cakes. Lucky woman indeed.
- Skewbic spent his time scarfing food and wondering if the proper
category for the bar would be chi-chi or foo-foo. The jazz trio, the
endless loop of airplane videos and waitresses in low-cut outfits made
him think foo-foo, but it wouldn't take much to make him change what's
left of his mind.
- Sticky Lips was a human bowling pin of sorts after Pull My Woody's dog
ran into her at full speed and knocked her over. But Ms. Lips, a veteran
of horrific spills on skis and mountain bikes, knew how to fall to
diminish the chance of any major injuries.
- Pull My Woody was awarded a Hash Thingy after it came to light that
every time he meanders up from the Crowsnest Pass Riviera, the Calgary
weather turns really, really crappy. How true, how true.
- Some poet once said April was the cruelest month. What isn't widely
known is that the line was written during a spring snowstorm in Calgary.
You knew it was nasty when Baby, the barometer of spring, was a no-show.
- Snowplow managed to relinquish her stranglehold on the Hash Thingy,
miraculously doing nothing that would have prompted Dr. Fill to award it
to her again for the third or fourth or fifth consecutive week.
An early favourite for next time, though, was Swingin' Tail, who
returned to the bar to search for her gloves, only to find them in her
jacket pocket. Ms. Tail tried to rationalize her actions, saying her
jacket had nine pockets, but the excuse just didn't carry any weight.
- One hasher left without paying $8 for two beers, according to a
waitress. But Dreary covered the tab and promised to extract revenge
from the scofflaw.
Duke of Hurl
Click here for Photos!
Return to Calgary
Hash House Harriers' home page