Run #1368 - Short, Flat & Frigid

November 26, 2007

Hares: Sticky Lips, Big Woody, and Tender Pecker
Where: Pizza Bob's Classic Pie
Big Rock: AGD and Traditional
Attendance: 29

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On a night that was colder than U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney's heart, Sticky Lips and her Incest Mafia co-hares Big Woody, Woody Woodpecker, Tender Pecker — the names all kinda run together in a blur — set a trail that was short, flat and bleeping frigid.

Probably the smartest hashers were Stranger, who took off the previous day for London — presumably England and not Ontario — and Mucky Dip, who eschewed the hash for a late-night flight to overcast but warm Bermuda.

In other words, the farther away from -14C with a -27C wind chill, the better.

GM Big Country, in a quintessential American move, even went to the trouble of undergoing hernia surgery, which grieving spousal unit Snow Plow said means four weeks of no sex, no driving and no work, just so he wouldn't have to come out in the cold.

Hernia surgery vs. a late November hash in Calgary, hmm, it was a tough call.

But those who did show up bundled themselves to the max and trudged through the hoods west of Kensington and north of Memorial. Luckily, no one had the urge to test the icy-cold waters of the nearby Bow River.

Everyone managed to make it back from the frosty night to Bob's, the pizza place that managed to be ready for us, even though Sticky's contact had taken off for a Mexican holiday and didn't bother to tell anyone else we'd be coming. But all's well that ends well. The pizza was hot and the beer, like the night, was ice cold.

Then there were the atrocities committed during and after on a night that would probably pass for summer in Edmonchuk and Saskatoon, where they'd likely mock Calgary for its weather wussiness:

Duke of Hurl

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