Hares: Bobbin' Robin
Where: Lakeview Plaza
On-In: Bass Brothers Pub, Lincoln Park
Big Rock: Grasshopper and Big Rock Pale Ale.
Some sort of swill that resembled beer was also available
Attendance:
Despite his tears, he had to summon the courage to set a trail on a cool November evening near the Glenmore Trail Massive Construction Screwup, which may or may not be fixed and finished in our lifetimes.
What was the reason for his deep sadness?
Actually, Bobbin discovered the unthinkable when he clicked onto CNN.com at work, when he was actually supposed to be doing whatever he normally does: Mr. Whipple, who told millions of women for decades "Please don't squeeze the Charmin", was dead at age 91.
At first, Bobbin was inconsolable.
"Mr. Whipple was my idol, my role model, my Energizer Bunny, my Tony the Tiger," Bobbin said as he wiped away tears, with Charmin toilet tissue, of course. "Here was this kinda nerdy guy who had this incredible power. Women actually listened to him.
"Sure, he wasn't for everybody. I mean, some people couldn't stand him, were repulsed by him. But, hey, the dude was simple, direct and made millions. And the first of his 500-plus commercials was filmed in Flushing, N.Y. What's not to like?"
It wasn't widely known at the hash, but Bobbin carried a roll of Charmin under his Shimano fishing-Inuit-biking hat during the run. Anytime he felt like crying, he just pulled a sheet from beneath the earflaps, and no one knew the difference.
"Mr. Whipple was an icon, not many knew that he actually went to college in Toronto, and lived here in Canada for years after moving from England as a kid. He was even in the Canadian Air Force, such as it is. Sure, he later became an American citizen, but he was ours. And mine. And now he's gone."
But trouper that he is, Bobbin led the pack after the hash to Bass Brothers bar in Lincoln Park for attempted mirth and merriment, such as it was. For instance:
On the bright side of the whole cross-border thing, both of them even learned how to spell Grey Cup and know what a single is.
Duke of Hurl