Run #1365 - Hello Dalai

November 12, 2007

Hares: Blue Balls
Where: Friar's - Glenmore Landing, 1600 - 90th Avenue SW
Big Rock: Fresh as the wind on the Tibetan plateau
Attendance: 40

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A visibly distraught Dalai Lama said today he intended to throw his spiritual support behind Blue Balls' Remembrance Day weekend hash, not the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

Something was lost in the translation from Tibetan to Canadian, no doubt, which set off a media frenzy on the prairies.

"I signed that football helmet and ball, but really wrote: Go Blue Balls Go. On-on, Calgary hash," Mr. Lama said in a webcam and telephone interview from an undisclosed mountaintop. "But somebody thought I was actually showing my devotion to the Blue Bombers.

"I know nothing about the Canadian Football League, or football, for that matter," he said. "Why would I, a man of peace and understanding, associate myself with such a violent sport? And with a team named the Blue Bombers, which goes against everything I stand for? The only thing I could say about the sport is see the ball, be the ball.

"It's nice they'd credit me with contributing to their last-second victory over Montreal, but I had nothing to do with it. I was watching NASCAR at the time."

The Dalai Lama, who once missed a dinner engagement with Big Country in Croatia after 9/11 prevented him from traveling there, said he'd hoped to attend Blue Balls' hash at Friar's in Glenmore Landing, but a scheduling conflict prevented him from doing so.

"I have done 149 hashes in Nepal, Tibet and even in disguise in China," the Dalai Lama said. "And I'm proud to say that, unlike, ahem, some people, I've never scammed a ride to get there or get home."

He promised to attend a future Calgary hash.

"Next time," the Dalai Lama said sadly. "Next time."

Even without the spiritual leader, Calgary hashers gathered on a blustery long-weekend night to follow a trail set by Blue Balls and the absent Flapjack, wandering around the hoidy-toidy hoods before heading back to the bar for fun and games. For instance:

Duke of Hurl

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