Run #1363 - Spooktacular Halloween Pub Crawl

October 29, 2007

Hares: Lay-Em In Snow, Snow Plow, King Shit (and Rag Head from beyound the border)
Where: Big Al's, 1915 - 31ST SE
Big Rock: In the bars (and in the alley too)
Attendance: 30

Click here for Photos!

They're quirky and their lurky, they're all together jerky, they drink beer with their turkey, the Hashing Family. (sung to the tune of the Addam's Family)

Yes, it's me, Rubber "Homicide" Made, "spookily" scribing the Hash Halloween Pub Crawl. It was a dark and stormy night (ok, it wasn't, but who's telling the story here?) as 30 or so scary looking people gathered at Big Al's pub in Forest Lawn. The hashers were there too.

I started the night seeing double as Bobbin' Wanker and Trail Wanker (aka King Shit) appeared and started yelling about dogs at the back of the pack or something. Oh Sama Bin Wankin' (the original) was also in town and threatening to blow us all up with his uni bombÉor did he say his puny knob?

Moses in a red dress showed up threatening to part the Red Sea, or at least 17th Avenue, along with the grooviest Duty Free ever. Plastic Surgeon Sucks listened for beer stops with his stethoscope, good thing he had all that practice playing "doctor" as a youth.

Big Bath Country rounded the ghoulish gang up outside and we were off, like a herd of turtles and on to the gruelling pub route that even dead people enjoyed. Among the dead were Caesar Bubbles (et tu, Tiny?) and of course Elvis, who kept calling other hashers hound dogs then uttering thank you, thank you very much. Dr. Death was present as well as Four Death Gasm, who incidentally I'm still upset with for "gloating" about what four orgasms feel like. As if I don't know! (Actually I don't, does anyone have a video?

Zena, Death Warrior was on hand and later tried to atone for her evil ways by being the hash wench bar server at the On In. Or was she trying to work off a previous tab at Big Al's? We'll never know.

Four Trekkies guided the group through Forest Lawn, which at times can be described as outer space, including Captain Twisty, Ensigns Hardly, Mouthful and Chief Officer Dancer. Hashers poured into pub after pub, some had even been expecting us!

Junior Designer Twist did her best to make the pubs presentable for hashers, while Randy Rod Stewart and Hobo Mum added some colourful decor to the classy joints we visited. Welder Kebab and Thing #1 tried to liven up pub number 3.5 by collecting all the funny jokes from Welder's Playboy...some joke about swallowing. Let me assure you that swallowing is no joke (right girls??)

Flap Jumpin' Jack did her best to pump up the crowd at the next pub (insert rude pumping joke here)...I personally didn't participate in the jumping...Helloooo, I would spill my beer! Snowplow Jeannie provided us with awesome muffins at the regroup.....come to think of it she wasn't too shy to show us her muffins as well....

Back at the On In and the RA's were ready to punish. Clueless was out doing tricks (or treating) so Ensign Hardly and Rubber Homocide filled in as RA's (my GOD they were hilarious). I have to admit I got a little tired of hashers asking me to lie on my back (I was a chalk outline of a dead body) Why, if I had a dime for every time a guy asked me to lie on my back.....I could quit working!!

Costumes and bad bad deeds were punished, such as Pippi Lay Em Longstocking punished for taking beer outside one the bars...ok, it was actually King Shit but I was CLOSE. You've heard of cat in the hat? We had Ass in the hat (self named) who got a down down. Mr. and Mrs. Shakes-Beer were next but they "paled" in comparison.

Hares King Wanker, Pippi Lay Em and Snow Jeannie enjoyed a beer for setting a great run. Ok walk. Crawl. Nevermind, there was beer.

Of course the costume closest to my heart was the Dreary Sex Contraption. Mostly because I can personally relate to his instructions: "Pay the Hand, Lift the Flap". I did, and it was GOOD. He was also the only hasher whose costume included a PENIS! The other instructions baffled me though. Suck don't blow. Who knew? It's always so dark!

The end.

Penis, penis, penis!
Rubber Maid


Click here for Photos!


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