Run #1340 - The Return Of The Tacky Neon
June 4, 2007
Hare: Neon Stripper, with help from Pee-On
Where: Stavro's - Ranchlands, 7750 Ranchview Drive NW
Big Rock: $11.75 per jug. Thanks Root 69!
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At first glance, it would have been so easy for Neon Stripper to stay home in Ottawa, watching the Sens soil themselves against the Dark Wing Ducks in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup finals.
No cross-country trek. No long-distance attempts to find a bar to accommodate 41 Calgary hashers. No arranging for a beer re-group at the Pee-On Home for Wayward Souls.
But, no, Mr. Stripper — who was stuck on 349 hashes for such a long, long time — heard the siren call, and the half-yard, for run number 350, and would not be denied.
So he left the nation's capital in the rear-view mirror, at least temporarily, and set a trail in the Ranchlands area of Calgary's northwest — up and down ridges, through the woods and back alleys and playgrounds. And on and on and on.
And it was good.
All hail to the Return of the Tacky Neon run.
For once, Dreary and Mum didn't completely stand out in their degrees of neon-ness. They actually had company, although some — in order not to reveal anything, just call them Clueless — must have thought it was the Camouflage Run.
Others, let's say maybe Dirty Girl and Spreadworthy, might have forgotten the exact meaning of neon. But all in all, Stavro's bar glowed with traces, and, in some instances, large doses, of neon.
It was a lovely June evening, no snow or rain or hail or strong winds. The ski jumps at Canada Olympic Park loomed majestically in the distance, and the Rockies appeared as their usual spectacular selves.
No scenery like that in Ottawa. The Rideau Canal is nice, but it just doesn't measure up. Those who did measure up included:
- The (sorta) volunteer choir, which featured two short-timers, Princess Pumper of Lithuania — do they all really speak with a lith-sp? — and Cock Tale, who's moving to the Frozen Wasteland of Edmonchuk, which, of course, is redundant.
But they sang loudly and enthusiastically and sometimes even on-key, which can be a rarity in the hash choir. The big question is, will choir-mate Always be the next to move from Calgary?
- The Sunshine Boys, aka Lumberjack, Mydol and Pyro, who found his way back safely to Calgary after his trip Across the Pond — all of whom drank for some offence or other. Pyro wanted to stay longer in England, but he felt like meeting Prince Harry in Medicine Hat for a beer.
- The dancing skeleton, which was somehow connected to Neon Stripper's previous life, and Mydol, who was having way too much fun with the cadaver. Somewhere, the Grateful Dead's Jerry Garcia grimaced when a body part flew off — off the skeleton, not Mydol.
- In what has become an almost-weekly rite of passage, Tiny Bubbles drank a mini-yard again for his 670th run, simply because he figured out it was exactly one-half of all Calgary hashes ever run. Woo hoo. Mr. Mushroom also bored a new boot, psychologist Joy, almost to tears with another in his endless string of morel stories.
- Those who were unable to master the Bum Titty song — uh, Spreadworthy, for instance — were treated to slow-motion practice in an attempt to get them up to speed. It's the proverbial "only time will tell."
- Those who live south of Glenmore Reservoir got an extra special treat on the way home — mega-gridlock on Glenmore Trail as workers moved a beam into place about 11 p.m. It meant 30 minutes of sitting amid the lightly falling raindrops. On the bright side, at least it wasn't a fatal accident, which could have meant hours of sitting.
Thank goodness for big favours.
Duke of Hurl
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