Run #1330 - The Great Velcro Rip-Off

April 2, 2007

Hares: Dreary and Mum
Where: Riverbend Station Neighborhood Pub
Big Rock: Grasshopper and AGD
Attendance: 25

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Velcro was invented in 1941 by Georges de Mestral, a Swiss engineer. The idea came to him after he took a close look at the Burdock seeds which kept sticking to his clothes and his dog's fur on their daily walk in the Alps, during the summer.

The electromatic-l.e.d.-flashdance-monkey-hashshit was invented jointly by Skewbic Hare's offspring and Hyena. The idea came to Skewbie's boys after a prolonged bout of sniffing burning flux while they soldered a high performance ignition module into their father's swedish highway rocket. The dashboard lights flashed randomly as they kept sticking thingamajigs into the car's hidden spaces. Juxaposed was the sight of the hashshit. With its insulated wooden handle and rubber suction cup, the hashshit was the perfect tool for the kind of serious electrical work our boys were engaged in.

"Hey! Why dont we light this f***er up?" said Short (or was it And Curly?)

"Sweet! I'll get the drill!" said And Curly (or was it Short?)

Switches, batteries, wires, really, really bright blue l.e.d.s and the aformentioned drill were pressed into service.

Scant weeks later the hashshit was passed on to Hyena.

"This thing is almost perfect," Hyena thought to himself, "but something's still missing".

Fortunately Hyena had access to a cadre of creative young students, eager to kiss ass if it meant extra credit.

"It needs a flashdancing monkey sir!" they told him. "With batteries up its arse."

"...and a digital dildo! It's gotta have a digital dildo attached!"

"I think you've fingered it son," answered a satisfied Hyena.

By the time run #1330 came along, the great invention was finished.

R.A. Skewbic hare was so impressed that he let Hyena keep the hashshit for another week.

Although the electromatic-l.e.d.-flashdance-monkey-hashshit was surely the highlight of run 1330, the other goings-on that night should not be forgotten. Unfortunately, forget them is exactly what I did.

Oh sure, I remember that there were recycled "V" for viagra hash marks that somehow mutated into "V" for velcro marks... and there was Swingin' Tails' "friend" Paul from Australia who got named "Scratchy Bags"... and there was Panties' return to Turkey... and there was the double down-down for the film crew from SAIT with the malfunctioning sound equipment (some sort of interference caused by the electromatic-l.e.d.-flashdance-monkey-hashshit perhaps?)

...but I don't really remember much else, except that the run was mercifully short and that the Big Rock beer was plentiful.

ON ON!
King Shit

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