Run #1324 - Nice Recovery

February 19, 2007

Hares: Mucky Dip and Chick Lick
Where: White Hart Manor Pub, 11213 - 30th Street SW
Big Rock: $9 jugs!
Attendance: 31

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Once they finally got the word out where the hash actually was going to take place, Bob Marley Memorial Fan Club co-hares Chick Lick and Mucky Dip made a nice recovery.

But there were lessons learned.

Rule #1: Never, ever send an email announcing a hash location to Lost in Space. After all, Lost in Space is known as Lost in Space for a reason. Sending it to Lost, which is sorta like mailing it to the Black Hole, almost torpedoed the hash.

Rule #2: Doing the above causes increased heart rate and the possibility of heart attack or stroke or apoplexy for people such as King Shit and Dreary, who are way too old to be tempting fate like that. So don't do it.

Rule #3: It's always nice to give away trinkets for a Family Day quiz, even if the trinkets aren't payback for the scheduling snafu. But it's not good to make the questions too difficult. It is the hash, you see, and many brain cells have died for the cause.

But like all good fairy tales, all's well that ends well — and it did.

Chick n' Dip re-united to set a trail 50 weeks after their infamous Bob Marley Reggae Hash in the same general area. This time, the White Hart Manor Pub, whatever that means, hosted the festivities on a mild but still-icy late February evening.

Those who trekked to sorta far-southwest Calgary were treated to trail that included light poles that weren't exactly on the corners, snowy and icy streets, and a re-group that featured tasty and piping hot hot chocolate, as well as Kahlua for the brave souls.

Everyone eventually found their way back to the bar, where late-arriving RA Skewbic managed to conduct business with his usual elan and aplomb, whatever those words mean.

Skewbic had warned that job-related business might keep him away, but sources said he was actually distraught about Britney Spears' major meltdown, and didn't know if he could carry on. Coming on the heels of the death of Anna Nicole Smith, who may or may not have been carrying Skewbic's love child, it's been a traumatic time for Skoob. But he somehow managed to conceal his grief and hand out down-downs, as well as preside over other nonsense. For example:

• Hyena and Humidor got to drink for traveling all the way from suburban Saskatoon to attend the hash. Humidor, the only person in the world with a Colombian-Saskatchewan accent, also made a mysterious "ski trip" to the Land of White Powder. No word on what Canadian customs thought.
   
• Duke of Hurl was forced to drink for allegedly convincing three lovely, talented, personable and gorgeous New Boots — Jan, Carolin and Janine — to attend the hash. Amazingly, none were horrified or mortified by the Hash Experience. Just wait till they get named, though, that'll be the litmus test.
   
• Snevil managed to make it maybe 10 meters before she was flat on her back after slipping on ice. She was more than a little irritated that the Russian judge only gave her a 6.4, especially since she stuck the landing.
   
• Hardly had to drink for committing some sexual offence or other, apparently by himself. Then again, what's surprising about that?
   
• For the first time in weeks, hash business wasn't interrupted by D-Cup the Giggle Queen going into uncontrollable spasms of GiggleFits. Rumour has it that Thorazine is quite an effective drug for such things, and it must have worked. Either that, or she was too busy chowing down on a burger and fries that didn't quite agree with her. Hey, whatever works.
   
• Chick Lick and Mucky were quite kind in awarding chalk and the pretty chalk holders for those who answered their incredibly difficult Family Day quiz questions, no matter if the answers were right or wrong. It was either a display of extreme kindness on their part, or they were trying to send a not-so-subtle, not-subliminal-at-all message that people need to volunteer to hare.
   
• After the hash crowd left, a few hardy souls — Krusty, Glittoris, Dr. Fill, Jan, Carolin and Duke of Hurl — remained, totally mesmerized by the Dick Weber Open and Motel 6 Classic bowling tournament, sponsored by Denny's, on the big-screen TV.
   

The female hashers secretly lusted after, or possibly were repulsed by, the roly-poly bowlers in their polyester outfits — most of whom looked as though they ate the Denny's Grand Slam breakfast four times a day. There was talk about possibly joining them on tour for their next stop in West Virginia, and then onto New Jersey — becoming bowling groupies of sorts.

Ah, the dreams.

On On!
Duke of Hurl

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