Run #1317 - New Year's Tacky Formal

January 1, 2007

Hares: Left Bun and Knob Slinger guided by the spirit of Kawky Whoreurrrrrrrr
Where: Knobby-Bun's Palace, 57 Edgeridge Close NW
Big Rock: BYOBR (Bring Your Own Big Rock)
Attendance: 37

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The third and final leg of the Calgary hash's holiday Eat and Drink Your Face Off Triathlon took place on a mild, Chinook-fueled New Year's Day just south of Airdrie.

Co-hares Left Bun and Knobby, guided by Kawky's irrepressible spirit, laid a trail that went hither and yon, to and fro, twixt and tween, and up and down before heading back to what was important — beer, munchies and piping-hot lasagna.

Cock Tale, for instance, considered it the greatest run of 2007. Hard to argue that point.

The festivities ended a weekend of debauchery that started Friday night at Lumberjack and Skully's house, where a chocolate fountain and mass quantities of food and drink sent partiers to some version of heaven. It continued at Skewbic and Mucky Dip's New Year's Eve party, where tons of food were served and copious amounts of alcohol mysteriously disappeared.

The New Year's Eve party also showed that Party Pumper, aka the Dancing, Dancing, Dancing Machine, and Not Too Deep were unbelievably energetic — at least on the dance floor.

Like a trouper, Not Too Deep also appeared at the New Year's Day hash, minus her dancing shoes. But Party Pumper, possibly ordered by her doctor to take a week of bed rest, was conspicuous by her absence. Ms. Pumper also stayed at the Lumberjack and Skully soiree till 4 a.m., helping to clean up.

Make no mistake, the parties also took their toll on the hosts and hostesses. Skully was tired, Lumberjack got sick, and late-arriving Skewbic and Mucky Dip had about as much energy as a truckload of banana slugs, or something like that.

The New Year's Day hash was the annual tacky formal, which brought out the best, and worst, of sartorial eloquence, such as it was. It was also a rousing way to start out the New Year. For instance:

• Always With Wings was honoured for his 200th run and received an unembroidered jacket that will eventually end up with his name on it, or so he was told. Dr. Fill got a clear plastic bag with his vital information written on a white tag for his 150th. Hardly and Twisty got to drink for their 569th hashes. And Bum Titty — does he realize how many canaries died to make those pants? — pounded a half-yard for his 250th.
   
• Two hashers had problems with lost keys, but only one, Pyro, had to drink for it, while the other, Xena, skated. Pyro somehow managed to remember where he put his keys that he lost at the Thanksgiving hash in October while sitting in a bathtub in late December. Xena worried about losing her keys, but then remembered which pocket she put them in.
   
• Cock Tale, who almost was unable to breathe after wrapping orange duct tape too tightly around his waist, and Not Too Deep got to drink for their recent visit to Archive City, which may or may not be in Newfoundland. Brit ex-pat Mary — possibly the Virgin Mary down the road? — drank for being a new boot.
   
• Bobbin was hobbling more than a little after trying, unsuccessfully, at the New Year's Eve party to put his foot behind his ear. He also did some version of the splits, and was lucky not to have torn a hamstring and variety of tendons. It was quite painful to watch, much less experience.
   
• Dreary and Mum got to drink for being the latest party crashers at Skewbic's and Mucky's, leaving around 3 a.m. Skewbic had yet to recover by the New Year's Day hash from his loss of sleep, and was promising an early crash after the hash.
   
• Left Bun got the "good" Hash Thingy for all her work on the CD on Kawky. Lamb Chop, in a huge non-surprise, got the "bad" one — mostly for just being himself.
   

Happy New Year.

On On!
Duke of Hurl

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