Run #1306 - 2006 Halloween Pub Crawl
October 30, 2006
Hares: Lay 'em in Snow, Rag Head, Swingin' Tail
Where: Big Al's
Big Rock: beer is NOT scary!
Attendance:
Hares: Lay 'em in Snow, Rag Head, Swingin' Tail
Where: Big Al's
Big Rock: beer is NOT scary!
Attendance:
It turns out that worldwide media reports of the death by stingray of Australian crocodile hunter Steve Irwin were not only greatly exaggerated, but flat-out wrong.
Irwin actually attended the Calgary hash's 20-something annual
Halloween Hash and Pub Crawl in Forest Lawn hared by Lay 'Em, the
almost long-lost Rag Head and Not As Much Tail Left to Swing on a
cold, icy and snowy night before the Big Night.
He was there, alive as ever, wearing his khakis, carrying his green
crocodile — or maybe it was an alligator — with a stingray in his
front pocket.
OK, it was actually a toy white Corvette Sting-Ray. And the alligator was a stuffed animal. And it wasn't really Irwin, it was Bobbin' trying to act as though Irwin was still walking the earth.
How tacky.
But tackiness was the order of the night at the hash, which meandered through three Forest Lawn bars that will become meth-free and coke- free on Jan. 1, in accordance with Calgary ordinances. For example, there was:
The ex-RA, Old What's-Her-Name, dressed as some sort of twisted she-
devil — which really wasn't all that much of a stretch.
What's-Her-Name stunned the audience when she announced that she
plans to apply to graduate school at Purdue University in Indiana,
which, for some reason, is known for engineering.
Even though she's not an engineer, What's-Her-Name hatched the plan
after seeing a photo of a six-foot inflatable penis being passed
around the student section at a Purdue football game.
"It's the biggest and best penis ever, except for my honey's, and I
just want to touch it, caress it," What's-Her-Name said. "I fell in
love with the penis, er, Purdue at that very moment. Where did you
say Purdue was again?"
Guest RA and Uber Control Freak Lumberjack conducted business with
an iron fist and a crackling whip of some sort as Dr. Jekyll, or was
it Mr. Hyde? One or the other.
LJ handed out down-downs faster than Halloween candy disappears at
Michael Jackson's house, and even made the choir sing from its knees
when the songs displeased him.
But since the point of hashing is almost always more beer, well done,
Lumberjack.
Poor Skully, carrying a brain in a creepy glass jar, was the other
half of the Jekyll-Hyde combo — even after doing a face plant on a
bicycle. The collar and dog leash were an especially nice touch. At
least they didn't interfere with her concussion, broken nose and
other injuries.
The Turkey Guy was there, regaling the hash with stories about the
Ankara Hash and taking way too many photos that will probably end up
on the Turkish version of the World Wide Interweb.
Lay 'Em dressed as some sort of Ku Klux Klan-type ghost that, come
to think of it, probably wasn't the safest costume to wear in the
bright lights of Forest Lawn. Or he may have been welcomed there with
open arms, one or the other.
His ever-faithful sidekick Luna wasn't there, or maybe she was the
ghost dog on the end of the leash Lay 'Em had on trail. 
Party Pumper came as the construction worker from the Village
People — only one hasher figured it out — and got propositioned by
a toothless, aged female barfly.
Granny wanted to buy Pumper a beer and get to know her way better,
but Pumper had to stucco the house or something and turned her down.
King Shit was some sort of Cyborg Bill Gates, complete with a
creepy red infrared dot where his human right eye should have been.
Either that, or some futuristic football or hockey player.
Ben-Wa was the Tooth Fairy, complete with toothbrush and a spinning
and colourful something or other, and Jake the Slippery Snake was a
quasi-Phantom of the Opera — aka a match made in artistic and
cultural hell.
All in all, the beer was drunk, the pizza was eaten and the candy disappeared — and nobody got knifed or busted for drugs.
Happy Halloween.
On On!
Duke of Hurl
