Run #1235 - Hardly's Trifecta, CH3 vs The Mosquitoes

July 11, 2005

Hare: Hardly
Where: Nose Hill, Berkley Gate parking lot
On-In: The 19th Hole
Beer: Big Rock Traditional
Attendance: 43

With the battle line drawn for tonight's Hash on Nose Hill, Hashers dressed in armour, were set to take on millions of mosquiotes. Heavily out numbered, the hash embarked on a trail of flour and flagging, to conquor the blood hungry pests and complete their mission. As this reporter noticed, many hashers prepared for tonight with mossie repellant, but it appeared that the fight against the enemy will be hard faught. There seemed to be some confusion as to when tonights battle would occur, but with a toot of Dreary's horn, the troops were circled and instructions were given. The hash recruited some new warriers, some imported troops and some old veterans, whom were introduced to the group. Some further inspiration announcements were given, followed by the introduction of the battle plan instructor. Hardly, I believe was his name, proceeded to pump up and rally the troups. The attack would be on hills, in swamps, and fields. Markings were disclosed, route markers pointed out, and rally points were indicated. During this preliminary event, the mosquitoes began a slow but methodical attack with some early scouts. Many hashers fought them off by smacking and squishing them to death.

The time finally came for the main battle to begin with a call of "Release the Hounds!", and the pack was off. A very select group attacked the first of many hills. They proceeded up the hill smacking and swatting the enemy, killing thousands in the first volley. Unfortunately, at the top of the hill, they were sent back by a road block. A simple check back had stopped the troupes in mid stride. The main forces continued up another path, finding marks heading South West towards a group of trees. Losses of mossies were intense but no Hashers had died so far in the early rounds. With the main group heading towards uncertain grounds, the true walking attackers proceeded West up a predetermined path with limited obsticals and limited forces. Although totally outnumbered, the Hash proceded through many treed and bushed areas, flushing out the nasty enemy.

Over the next 45 minutes, millions of mosquitoes were killed as the troupes wondered aimlessly through the hilled area. Welts were seen, along with blood smears on some hashers, but no serious injuries were received. After successfully completing the trail of killing and wounding mossies, all troupe members came back. No losses had occurred except for some minor blood loss. The walking group appeared the have received more attacks than previously expected. They reported coming across an army of mosquitoes circling them throughout their mission. Mum, their patrol leader, fought them off solo. Thanks to her, they all made it back safely.

Now on to the victory celebrations at the 19th Hole. Smirk was overheard saying that this was the "best attack ever" with an echo of Bang Bang from Fukhowee. Swinging Tail fought of many of the enemy's advances with her large gun tail. Kawky and Knobslinger had put their differences aside, regarding "run totals", and worked well together. They were seen beating and swatting the enemy off of each other. King Shit was seen flashing and recording images, for the world to see on the net, of the great victory tonight.

Sumpyton, Squeeky, P'tooie, Lakey, Left Bun, Billy Thong, and Limp Dick and their hounds helped support the rear groups and were seen lapping water by the gallon after the battle. Dr. Phil was seen trying to give advice to the mildly wounded instead of a band-aid which they needed more. Inspect-her Butt was seen helping Thunder Tits removing dead mosquitoes from newly found cleavage. It was not really known or understood why they were both undressed to do this task.

Suck No Evil, the hashes notorious leader, was picked up and carried away by the enemy, she escaped with the help of Krusty. Krusty, the only hasher not attacked by the mossies, ran undetected into the home base of the enemy. Finding Snevil, confused and dazed, brought her back. Thank you Krusty.

At the 19th Hole

The Hash Religious Advisor stand in, Right Bun, proceeded to acknowledge many wonderful heros from tonight's battle. For your amusement, please fill in the blanks.

Down Downs to ______________. __________________, ___________________, ___________ new recruits, veterans, and imported fighters.

For setting up the attacks and pre-marking the battle lines ____________________.

_____________________ downed for __________________________ and __________________________.

Kawky Whorrerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr called up numerous members, believed to have hindered and even sabotaged some of tonight's attack. These criminals are _________________, _______________, ________________, _____________, ________________, and _________________________. The accused were verbally abused by the well rehearsed Hash Shit master, pleaded for forgiveness. There was only one of these hashers whom showed no remorse . Hardly seemed to defy the group and proceeded to drink the rest of the RA's beer. He was awarded the Bathroom Rifle and the acknowledgments were over.

This reporter, exhausted from the evenings activites, wishes to praise all those troupe members for a battle well fought.