Hares: My Little Pony and Blue Balls
Where: Site of the former Moose's Neighborhood Pub, Canyon Meadows
On-In: Bull & Finch
Drink of Choice: Big Rock Traditional & Grasshopper...What else?
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Circle up kiddies, the games are about to begin with Twisted Sister once again doing a stand up job of standing in for Grand Master Smirk. Will Wet One ever uncuff her summer sex slave so the two of them can return to the folds of the CH3?
Hash Test Dummy and her personal sex slave, the Anti Frank, were exercising their combined brains. Referring to Sticky Lips and her partner in crime, Sticky Licker, as the Stickies has stuck so they thought it might be great fun to create more combo Hash names for the CH3's copulating couples. Bobbin Rubber, Princess Fill, Billy Dick (nuthin' limp about what they're doin'), Thunder Butt, Frank's Dummy or should that be Dummy Frank and assortment of other comugulated creations were bandied about.
Oh yeah back to The Exalted Twisted One.... New Boots, visitors, archives, announcements, getting Lakey dressed and then the Hares. Tonnes of flour on trail, fragging and chalk. And we're off. Started the run with Inspector Butt but he soon left me in the dust. Is it possible that, if he ran fast enough, those new running shorts of his were hitting some type of guy runner's G Spot? Mmmm...I will have to check for signs of sweating at the end of the run.
The rest of the trail, or at least the one I was on wound itself through the varied terrain of Fish Creek Park. Lot's of possible shiggy but as Blue Balls has an aversion to shiggy, there was always the option of a bridge. Cum to think of it Kawky didn't pass me once, so was I even on trail?
Back at the On In Hardley announced our RA for the evening was Sucks Everything who was disappointed that this evening's establishment didn't have a pool table for his personal use. Choir consisted of P'Tooey, the absent Right Bun, King Shit and Dreary. Hares received their down downs for a trail well set. A huge group of new boots, visitors and archives received their free beer...Hey how long is Excremental Earnings going to be visiting before she realizes that Calgary is the place to be?
A sexual offense Down Down went to Hottie and Knobby. Something about Hottie straddling a log that looked like Knobby. Or was it the other way around? Then again Knobby could have been doing the straddling. As usual their narrative got confusing. Baby got a free beer for being horny in the water...or was it because his horn was in the water? Whatever, I do know it was a tale of wetness and woe.
My Little Pony was celebrating her 150th run and, rather than drinking the Big Rock nectar herself she used a number of male surrogates to complete the task. The vessel was passed around like a Hash doorknob until it was licked clean. The next Down Downs went to King Shit for babbling at his foreskin and then to Krusty for some type of fashion faux pas. I honestly didn't know that wearing ladies underwear was against Hash rules or I'd have never loaned him any. Oops, they were talking about his shirt. Sorry Krusty, guess your secret is out and, for the last time, I am NOT giving you my black crotchless pantyhose. The Inspector is having waaay too much fun with them. Giggle, giggle.
Next on Sucks Everything's list was a Milestone Down Down for Lakey's 649 run. She did a fairly impressive suck/swallow on the half-yard. Had to catch her breath once but that was probably due to the lower level of oxygen at Calgary's altitude. Couldn't have been from the lack of practice while in Wales.
Apparently Limp Dick could only go halfway down during the run so he was punished with a free beer. All of that debauchery over the weekend must have tired the poor guy out. I have no idea exactly what he and Billy Thong did during the Hash weekend but you should have seen the crate of tools he carried into their tent! It's amazing both of them are still alive! And, last butt not least, Inspector Butt got a Down Down for...you guessed it...sweating on Trail.
Before I sign off, Inspector Butt would like to pass on a word of thanks to Harley for finding and returning his semen cup. He admits that is a little bigger than he really needs but, over the years, he's become quite attached to it.
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