Run #1159 - First Run of Spring

March 22, 2004

Hares: Baby, Pyro
Where: Bowness Park, 8900 - 48 Ave NW
On-In: River Inn , 6404 Bowness Road NW
Attendance: 51

Smirk circled us up in Bowness Park to commence the first run of spring-which incidentally didn't feel like spring (whatsoever). The Hash Astronomer Tiny Bubbles pointed out the planet Venus presiding over the Hash amidst cries of your anus! your anus!. There were then plenty of announcements, mostly important, not to be missed, I missed them.

Visitors: Lapdog (he is from France), Wannabe Road Kill (Ottawa) were then introduced to the Hash, and vice-versa.

The Hares were then introduced. Baby and Pyro. For those in the know, Pyro had also set the Cogs trail on Saturday, but then this became rather apparent when Pyro started describing the Cogs marks for tonight's run. A clear case of too many trails set in too short a time. Congratulations Pyro, there should be more hashers like yourself.

The run started out along the river, crossed bowness. There were plenty of marks to follow, it kept heading in the opposite direction of the bar, where rumor had it, Big Rock Traditional was waiting to be drunk, and this started worrying several hashers, ( the heading in the wrong direction you dummy, not the Trad! ) Lucky for me I was at the back of the pack with several other hashers and we we're treated to short-cutting instructions from Hare Baby! Unfortunately Baby was sending us in the opposite direction to where the bar was. Thanks Baby! The rest of the pack had taken a more direct short cut. Along the way back we lost a couple Harriettes, who were standing innocently on a street corner in Bowness, and were picked up by a couple male Hashers. Way to go guys!, oh wait that's my wife..... Much to the relief of Carolyn (no hash name yet) We eventually made it back to the parking lot before the gates closed for the night.

The On-In was at Bowness River Inn, where the Hash was treated with jugs of Big Rock Traditional for a low price of $9.95, ah the nectar of the gods! The Inn had brought the Big Rock product in especially for the Hash, great customer service, the drink came in handy for washing down the great rib deal they also served up.

Hardley then introduced tonight's Religious Advisors, Hotty and co-RA in Absentia Pool Boy Ron.

The choir was selected, Limp Dick, TNT, Kawky Horror and Right Bun, and downed promptly with Big Rock Traditional Ale!

The Hares were called up, responses followed varying from too long, too short, not enough shiggy, too much shaggy, there's just no pleasing the Hashers, unless they're drinking the nectar of the Gods, Traditional Ale by Calgary's very own Big Rock Breweries. I personally thought it was a great run, I think I heard Smirk mention it was the best run he's been on.

The visitors were then downed. An old Calgary Hasher - Lap Dog, (he is from France), and Wannabe Road Kill (from Ottawa).

Being the first run of spring Hotty felt it only proper to down King Shit for the first shiggy splash of the 2004 season, congratulations Mr. Shit, he drank his drink of choice, Big Rocks very tasty Traditional ale.

Mudguard was downed for trying to steal a wheel chair for *69, an honorable goal but punishable none the less with a nice Trad, downed to the tune of "For He's a Sylphlike Bustard".

Bobbin Robbin was the next to get punished with the Traditional Ale, for keeping his car running with the heat on!, and this the first run of spring! He also enjoyed being mounted by Right Bun (who wouldn't). Thanks to the choir for a lovely rendition of "He's got a dose of clap, on his dick", always a favorite of mine, the song, not the symptom.

Tiny Bubbles, was then downed, for looking into the sky, and spotting Venus. Tubbles let the record show that the Hash was more interested in Your Anus. Twinkle twinkle little star was the tune, as he enjoyed his Big Rock.

Wet One was then downed for always being back from the run first because she is always lost.

Speaking of Lost, Lost In Space was downed because Smirk and Wet One got a dog, not sure what the connection was here, Wanker was talking during the down-downs preventing the scribe from hearing anything. I do know the choir sang "Beastiality's Best Boys", I do not wish one of the pups from that litter on anyone!

Bum-Titty and King Shit were then downed for scoring on trail. As scribe and a late cummer to the on-in I couldn't wait to hear this one, until I heard they picked up my wife and Beaver Flats. "Sexual Life of a Camel" was of course the tune of choice.

Lumber Jack was then downed for being a "Real Runner", he was caught stretching and limbering up behind a truck.

Limp Dick, Mum and Whale Wanker then became candidates for the Hash Shit, it was a close call, but when the dust settled, Mr. Wanker won, for being Wanker.

Over Heard At The Inn:

A love starved hasher was whining for never getting what she wants, and was told that she must learn to want what she already has, where upon she inquired, "My vibrator?"

"Tiny Bubbles does too many drugs" - Lost In Space
(scribes note - listen to this man he speaks from experience)

A female Hasher was herd asking Whale Wanker if he was drunk? I've heard a lot of pick up lines, this was a classic. It's too bad he was drunk, for a price Wanker, I'll tell you who it was!

King Shit - "Cocktale is a very lucky man, NTD has no gag reflex!" (scribes note - why yes I am)

That was the run as I saw it, see you on trail, or in the bar, or under the table.