Run #1139 - What The F*** Are You On?

November 24, 2003

Hares: Whale Wanker & Halfway Down
Where: Options Bar, 720 - 16 Ave NW
(next to where Hannibal's used to be)
Attendance: 52

Some of the more interesting things that happened on trail? Well a new potential hasher by the name of Nina started out with a little entourage of male-types following the easy gait and the bouncing hair....but she left them all in her dust. Lumberjack and Pyro discussing God-knows-what but didn't seem to notice that they were not on trail.....must have been something to do with the stock market.... going south? Cause when we turned east again....they were gone. Hottie made her usual deke into the bushes for a pee. Can you not hold it for 45 minutes? If you were a guy, Hottie, we could at least say....tie a knot. I always thought that expression "put a sock in it" was for someone who talked too much. See "King Shit" below. She claims to not be doing that (peeing) but there is always a little steam coming out of the bushes and she is adjusting her shorts.....go figure. On that note... King Shit blasts by your humble scribe towards the "ON IN", claiming that he has been gopher holing all run and is going "on in" to make sure his twin coiler awaits the rest of the hash when they come in. True to his name...it was the king of shits. whoooooooooooooweeeeeeeeee.

Back at Options Bar for down downs we had a guest RA by the name of Wet One. For my money.....the best we've had.... ever. Sorry I missed the previous engagement but if I have a say......"FOUR MORE YEARS"!!! Well done. "Best Joke" goes to Wet One for her one about plastic shopping bags. What is the difference between plastic shopping bags and Michael Jackson? One is white and dangerous to children and the other is just a plastic bag. Second place goes to the "Unknown Comic"....How do you tell when it is time for bed at Michael Jacksons home. When the big hand covers the little hand. Down downs started with a toast to Hanibals with the offering of a card to sign to send them a speedy recovery from their loss and open that damn bar before our next X-dress Karioke night.

Choir activities were handled by King Shit...after his disloading, Hardly, P'Tooey and The Bawdy. Well done and a little imagination in the songs....finally. Not "fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off" ad nauseum. Again...good job. I heard that SN'Evil was supposed to be part of the guest RA tandem....but her input was sadly lacking. It must be the glasses. Way too cool to handle such unimportant jobs now. But thanks for lending your name to the headline.

Mile Stone. Smirk ran in his 500th run. Wow. That is amazing. Even more amazing is a half a yard in 22 seconds without spilling a drop. New boots and archives....Sorry, Private Stick, Nina and a fellow named F4 from Vancouver who was on the road somewhere around Merrit and heard that there was a Hash run somewhere near by. Good time. From the interior of BC to Calgary in about 45 minutes. No wonder he is called F4. We must be good. King Shit....is it just me or is he mentioned a bunch here....(you know....like how he takes so many pictures of himself) got a down down for being blind and dumb. No I don't mean that he can't talk....just listen to him. He was so concerned that we were near his house that he couldn't see the marks or find the beer. Lakey and P'Tooey got a down down for getting down down....and just a bit dirty. Merrited the Sphinx song. Yours truly got a down down for trying to find out who had said what....scribbling the whole time....I will volunteer for this down down every time if it always goes this way.

Thunder Tits got the dubious honour of pouring the ale down my throat whilst rubbing her name-sakes against my back. Funny how hands can get right into the middle of your back, isn't it? The real ones are even better than the foamies. Indeed....a handful. (each) Squeeky and Hottie got the same kind of gig for comparing leg positioning whilst inflagrente dilecto. Lumberjack and Whale Wanker got to do the honours pouring the ale down their awaiting throats.....amazing what gets right into your mouth when you are on your knees. Stickey Lips turned 40-something yrs old and although she claimed she wanted HEAD....was satisfied with an orgasm in front of the whole Hash. Like a true lady. did it with style and grace.

We had a couple of namings. I was curious about the unilateral naming. Don't we get a say any more? Rowan was named "Melt in your Hands....not in your Mouth." Karie was named "Moan in the Dark". With that flaming red hair and hot looks thought there might be some other options but Burning Bush is already taken. Anyway they are both rather long names so I am thinking there are some shorter versions....Meltie and Moaner? Something like that. Welcome ladies. Good to have you finally named....and not bad ones either.

Last but not least let me just say that I have never seen a performance for the Hash Shit like the one put on by Kawkie. It was a stiff competition but he blew away the field with his spinning of the Wheel of Death. He got the "spin to win" down to a science. He didn't just do it once, twice, thrice, frice?? How the f*** do you say five times? He hasn't seen that much wood in his pants ever. He was actually asked if he had a plunger in his pants or was he happy to see Wet One and Sn'evil. His response was "I have 5". So naturally Wet One's response to that was...."What....INCHES"???

All in all it was another great night. Good friends and good times. 52 showed up.....most made it back to Options. Have a great week and see you on Monday night. Visitors welcome.