Run #1110 - It's a Charity Run You Cheap Bastards

June 2, 2003

Hares: Hash Test Dummy and Gives It Away
Where: Stavros at 16th Ave and 19 St NW (2002 16 Ave NW)
Attendance: 59

The hares regret that this will be a shortish sort of write-up, due to an unforeseen illness of the designated scribe (as opposed to a foreseen illness, like, for example, a hangover).

A large bunch of us showed up at Stavros on Monday night, no doubt influenced by the really good time we had there a few weeks ago for Hash Test's second 49^th birthday. This was a charity run, with generous Hashers encouraged to donate whatever they felt appropriate to Hash Cash to support, um, a charity. Yes, I've forgotten who it was. Hehe. Ahem... Anyway, we were strongly encouraged to donate extra crinklies to the good cause by a certain Hash Cash mistress, with blonde hair, glasses and a vocal output level that could straighten a titanium corkscrew, who announced at the beginning, "HEY, IT'S A CHARITY RUN YOU CHEAP BASTARDS". I won't mention her name for fear of incriminating the guilty, but you can find her name on the front page anyway.

Skewbie circled us up with his usual aplomb, guided us through the usual array of announcements, the usual old guy announced his name was Whalewanker, and we were off. Zoom, West! No, North. No, South, across 16th and into suburbia. Towards C.O.P. we lurched (no, we didn't run that far, ha ha ha, this is the Hash), although we did get a nice view of C.O.P. and western Calgary as we hit the embankment and the Hash once again formed up a milling herd of poor little lambies, none brave enough to careen down the hill in search of marks for fear of actually having to climb back up. The Drinking Club with an Initiative Problem... Eventually some sharp-eyed soul (Mr Bum Titty) spotted a fleck of orange fagging, and down the stampede of hashers thundered, into the park, all desperate to prove that they weren't really standing around doing nothing, they were just getting psyched up. Uh-huh. Right...

At this point, trail following kind of fell apart. One dedicated group thrashed around for a while, searching for the trail. Another not-very-dedicated group, led by the HASHMASTER (cheeky bastard), cheated. I can't tell you where the rest of the true trail went, which might give away which group I was in. Skewbie led us back up and out of the park, towards civilization and more importantly, a beer. Said return to a civilized beer involved a bloody uncivilized hillclimb. Fit, actual runners like Wet One and SNEvil launched themselves at the hill like stagette guests at a Chippendale, and the rest of us gasped and wheezed our way to Stavros, a chair and a beer. Or two. The rest of the dedicated Hashers returned some time later, after they ran the real trail, and still climbed the hill.

There were some memorable down-downs, chaired by the Knobby and Smirk team, and assisted by the Dreary and P'Tooey choir. I don't remember all of them, but Baby FINALLY showed up for his 350^th after an extended absence. We also named a couple of almost-virgins. Honorable mention to Lady, who co-hared the run before she was christened, Gives It Away. Also, Cheryl from Down Under was christened BillyThong. Note that she promised to wear one for run 1111, so keep your eyes peeled.