Run #1099 - Q: What is Long and Pink at the Start; Short and Pink at the End?

April 7, 2003

Hares: Mydol, Pyro
Where: Silver Point (formerly Suds and Spuds), 5720 - SilverSprings Blvd. NW
Attendance: 50

Having seen the dark of the day; now the light

The "circle" now seems to form of its own volition; undirected by our Alzheimer ridden Chief administrator and Hash Dictator. Well, it appears as though the worst has occurred...He's forgotten who we are; the ~~bane~~ reason for his existence.

Enough depressing musing. Everybody was quiet and attentive as the Scewbic Hare introduced Smirk and Mydol as the hares to the structured roll call of the Hash; only to realize from the jeers of the Hash that Pyro was not Smirk (an honest mistake when one considers the sloppy grins they both have).There were about 90 runners in all, some of them worn right thru with age.The location was the old Suds & Spuds.

At this point our Hare, Pyro, quietly and professionally assisted by Mydol introduced the criteria for the run. Quasi obscene raging pink chalk marks (with an attempt to deceive the sheep surrounding them that there was shiggy possible on this run). It worked; there wasn't any; well, not any Real Shiggy.

And we were off, the reaction being similar to that of a controlled wet fart; in every direction, as long as it was North. As we all are aware, Calgary always leans west from the bar (any bar) towards the river valley, and that was the way the march of the tame and quiet (esp. the FROPS) proceeded. The pack immediately became a boring, running club. Where were the noisy, lively, disorganized Hashers? These people proclaiming to be Hashers may as well have been running in suits. The quiet tranquil nature of the northwest Calgary neighbourhood being left undisturbed; not a ripple on a puddle, a broken twig, nor a baby awakened. No shiggy, no noise; except perhaps a mumbled "On On". Routine.

Such was the case until KingShit, in his neverending quest to be noticed by the young and beautiful of the opposite sex (or not); jumped in a puddle beside Lost Virginity and Thick 'n Creamy. They didn't even get wet. At one intersection, Lay Em In Snow was seen calling "On" on a parallel street. And not seen again.

20 Years Ago

"On In" ran in the First Calgary Hash, started by Mike "Oombala" Carr. Dreary had NO runs. Roo (Right Bun) had been Hashing for four years and Pyro had been Hashing for three. Beer was $1.50 a bottle. Choir Boy was a virgin. And may still be.

Left Bun remarked on somebody's sore nipples. Skully glared at her. Mydol kept telling the writer the path of the real trail. Boy, I must be out of shape to be so grateful; especially after my fifth false trail. Dreary remarked on my inability to count robbins. One, two, three...a gazillion!

Wet One Discovers Multiple Uses For Long, Bulbous Cylinders

So whose responsibility is it to liven up the Hash? Wet One's? Yes. Dreary's? Of course. Kebab and Gromit's? Indeed; that is unless they blow smoke on it all. In fact it is the mutual resposibility of all of us to PARTICIPATE and LIVEN UP THE HASH. Believe it or not, your individual input contributes to a better, more chaotic, unpredictable Hash. Sheep and hangers-on can suck the energy out of anything. Ignore critisism that my keep you from being involved. Try to ignore Lumberjack. Just try.

The main attraction to the Hash, anywhere in the world, for this scribe has been it's SPIRIT and the very life and good nature of those attending. Next time you are in the circle, look closely at the "Hasher" next to you. Is he or she really a contributing HASHER? If not, help them out.

By the way; Our RA's bear the greatest load in this respect, and are doing a great job, in my opinion. We will miss Neon Stripper.

And more venting: Participation, and age, and long time Hashers. As we all know the demographics of the Hash are aging, and this is to be expected. But, the dilemma is that the long-time Hashers are still around because they are involved for the most part, with many of the runs, mismanagement and social get togethers. Turnover in new Hashers, who would generally be the younger ones, is ever more apparent as the Hash gets older. We have to get new Hashers more involved, and let them take a hand in the decision making. To keep "doing it the way we always have" will ultimately kill the Hash through geriatric boredom.

The contrast in ages now as opposed to 12 years ago is startling. And at this rate, ten years from now, it will still be the same people still complaining about doing everything, except they will be even older, and the events will be only attractive to old farts.

To the rest of you: Get the new boots involved. Make runs more challenging. Be like you used to be. Eliminate clique-like behavior.

To everyone: Get your heads out of your collective asses...2006 is only 3 years away!

Guys; pay attention when you see Sticky Lips order French fries.
Pay closer attention to see how she eats the long ones.

The Hares got beer. Xena decided we were all collecting our own Hash cash. She got beer. Suck No Evil, My Little Pony and Tiny Bubbles got beer for some group tryst. Hash Test sold Knobby a HASH shirt to replace his CSPG "R Word" shirt. Knobby got the Hash Shit again (see sidebar). Lost Virginity showed us her thong...and got beer. Smirk got beer because he pays for it. Burning Rubber got beer for refusing to take back the new shoes that Hardly had just finished drinking beer from. And that's all the beers down-downed as this writer recalls.

A: Pyro and Mydol's chalk.

Knobslinger Retains Own World Record for Hash Shit

October, 1998; Kuala Lumpur Malaysia: Five former RA's from around the world attending the World Interhash agree that no Hasher comes close to being awarded the Hash Shit as much as Knobslinger. In Libya he had it for over 6 months...straight. In Calgary; traditionally once a month. And again tonight.