Run #980 - The "I Hate Scribing" run...

May 7, 2001

Hares: Blue Balls
Where: Suds 'n' Spuds, 5720 Silver Springs Boulevard N.W.
Attendance: 66

Click here for Photos!

It was the 980th run of the Hash House Harriers. Blue Balls & Hot on Trail set a varied run through the Hills of North West Calgary.

At one point all Hashers became lost in the hills above the Bow (?) River. Finally someone (I can't remember who the Fuck it was, and frankly, don't give a Rat's mutilated testicle) spotted the on-on mark along the trail. Back along the hills we went to the pub. One Nut Sue, was wearing a shirt with scratch marks on the back saying "Gypsy Rose Lee Was Here", whether it was true or not, the soon to be married one nuts' legendary finesse with the opposite sex (both fictionary and otherwise) is a tribute to the intelligence of the Canadian Women. Only One Nut maybe, but the middle leg makes up for the difference.

Then there's the story of Krusty seen coming out of one of the rubber sisters (I can't remember which one, they all look the same to me) place. At least that's what Pool Boy Ron said.

The whole thing reminds me of a cartoon in Playboy in the 60s. This middle aged paunched guy is ready a playboy mag and comments to his frumpy wife "sometimes I think the whole worlds having a wild sex orgy and I wasn't invited."

Any freakin way, afterwards all assembled at the bar the ceremonies began. Guest for a "Down Down" included Dork the other White Meat, porno star from Long Beach. He was called that cause he was one of only 2 white guys who were member of a Watts Hash Club. They were always the FRBs cause they had to keep away from the locals to stay alive.

A Virgin Named "Rob" got named "Easy Daddy" because he bought a shirt or some other shit (I can't exactly friggin' remember) for lost virginity.

Some loser got a down down and a mug (or some other cheap useless trinket) for running 50 hash runs. The choir played the same mundane "get a life get a life Blah Blah shit).

They couldn't even be coerced into playing something riotous like the "Wood Pecker Song". There's nothing that gets a man's testosterone going (except maybe a dead cow) like the sounds of "Dixie" or "Deutschland Uber Alles". Makes you want to get a gun and shoot some Yankees or invade some country.

Dreary named a new guy "One called scared of beer" or some such nonsense.

Next we had a bunch of guys fighting over the Hash shit like it was the Holy Grail or some fucking thing. As I remember it, it went to Dreary, to Lumber Jack, to One Nut Sue, then back to Dreary, or some thing similar. Any way, all I remember is a bunch of adolescent type kaos, with Dreary's voice bellowing like a stuck pig from out of Deliverance. And oh yes - The Shiesser Kaiser got to drink some beer out of the Mini Shit, and he flicked it (the Mini Shit that is) at Yours Truly when I tried to get them to do the rooster song. Oh sorry- the woodpecker song. If you ever wanna hear the rooster song, I can sing it to you. But there must be no chicks present. It makes your wimpy Hash songs sound like church hymns.

Anyway, Nuff of this shit. Hopefully I did a bad enough job you bastards will never ask me to do this again.

Signed, your scribe - Bovine Necrophiliac (AKA Tootsie Roll)

PS - I pissed in the HASH beer last week.

Click here for Photos!


Editurds' Notes

In the interest of educating hashers in the sublties of the English language (yeah, like we could and you would listen), we bring part one in a series called "know your subtle parts of speech." Today's lesson will be Oxymorons. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, it is simply defined as: "two ideas of opposite meaning combined to form an expressive phrase." This definition was sent from editor one to editor two who does not own, nor his he confortable using, a standard pocket dictionary. He does, however, have his hands in his pockets, even in church! So then, here is the list for this week...

On-On,

Yer Editurds


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