Hares: I Like Beige, Xena Warrior Princess, Camshaft
Where: Bugaboo Creek Neighbourhood Pub, 5353 Crowchild Trail NW
Attendance: 68
Maybe the election had something to do with a slightly smaller turn out than usual. We all met up at Bugaboo Creek pub somewhere up north to be led on a merry dance of twists and turns and a beer regroup at the top of a hill by our hares I like Beige, Camshaft and the ever lovely, Xena, Warrior Princess.
There seemed to be a little unnecessary colour coordination going on in the circle, all the yellow jackets over here and all the blue ones over there. So much thought was going into this new game that a slew of Hashers forgot their names and our hash mattress just skipped over them, thankfully. In the confusion, Mydol and Sir Hemorrhoid almost went unnoticed as they massaged each other but this ever-watchful scribe caught them and made the usual suggestive comments.. Wink, wink nudge, nudge. We had some archives and new boots, Paul being one of those and Mucky Dip and Swallow It being the former oh and I don't know if he was an archive but it was nice to see Batman out again.
The run itself was fun and not too long. But I must be honest. I have terrible handwriting and sometimes I can't even read it myself. The notes I took the other night are illegible so excuse me if I miss something. But of the run I do remember Lickin' Good and Shagadellic behaving like two little kids who are dying to get it on but don't want the rest of the hashers to notice so they just run about whacking and shoving each other all night. Like we wouldn't notice. How do they think most of us wooed our mates?
Anyway, back at the bar we were aghast to learn that their compressor had broken down and we would have to drink bottled beer!!! Which also meant the beer for the down downs was a little paltry. But here they are anyway. oh yeah, Hardly stepped in tonight to take over for Dreary who was running his 850th run (I hope I remembered that right, sorry if I'm wrong Dreary). Smirk and Wet One were downed for actually come to the Hash to RUN so they arrived well ahead of the pack and drank their beer and then buggered off again. Suck no Evil was downed for not being seen at the regroup, appears that they were always being on trail this night whereas she normally takes every alternate route she can find. There is something in my notes about Shag and shiggy but I can't remember the significance, you'll have to ask him. Burning Bush and Jake the Slippery Snake were downed for a sexual offence "in order to get down we must get up first" ...something like that. Hotdog brought to light the unusual but highly appreciated directions from Xena and her 36B pointers. I can't remember if it was Tiny Bubbles or P'tooie who were downed I know Shadow and a bag of shit was involved oh, and TB getting a nice big whiff of it. And last but not least, I was downed and received the hash shit for shoving Hardly into the shrubbery.. my only defence is that he has always said he liked bush.
On On!
Pull It
Excitement raged through the Hash this week (well, maybe not raged, kind of gurgled, or perhaps writhed,) when news broke that a contingent of Swedes would be attending the 1000th Run.
Finally, we exclaimed, some international recognition, a little respect for our hard-working (OK, hard drinking,) little group from Hashers other than the usual out-of-town suspects. Why are we excited by Swedish Hashers?
They're not American Hashers, who stop in Calgary because of its position on the largest straightaway for their rented motorhomes.
They're not Australians, who are only in Calgary as a result of chronic map-misreading on the way to Montreal, and due to the cumulative effect of years of fizzy beer abuse.
They're not British Hashers, who, annoyingly, still offer beads and "thundersticks" to the beer looters in exchange for beer.
They speak a genuine foreign language, not just badly mangled English.
The foreign language thing might pose a problem, though, if it weren't for the excellent research resources here at your Hash Editors Research Centre. While Editor #1 returned from his local 24 hour video store to re-familiarize himself with Swedish culture, Editors 2 and 3 couldn't wait for him to come out of his room. So with deadline approaching, we provide you with this brief guide (part one of a likely discontinued series) to important Swedish running words, researched >from the catalogue of an international Swedish retail company:
See next week's editorial for a completely unrelated sequel.
On-On,
Yer Editors