Run #1023 - If you were there you would know...

December 17, 2001

Hares: Krusty and Burning Rubber
Where: Pancho Villas Bar and Grill, 115 - 10 Chaparral Dr SW
Attendance: 58

What can I say. If you were there you would know that King Shit has a unique way of spelling Chapparel. You would know that Krusty and Rubber Tester set a good trial around the Lake Chaparel community. You would know that they promised 5 playground stops in the snow, but most of us only say tow, Hardly found three, and P'tooie said he ran by a fourth but didn't stop to play as he was all by himself. You'd know that there were two regroups, the first with chocolate kisses and candy canes, the second by a huge light display with yummy liquors. You'd know that we sang the Christmas Carol Happy VD from the Global Trash songbook. You'd know that Tiny Bubbles did the whole run in shorts, and then complained about having cold hands. You'd already know all this if you were there.

If you weren't there then you wouldn't know that the choir of TNT, Tiny Bubbles, Twisted Sister, and Trail Tripper couldn't come up with songs fast enough so the RA/s revolted. You wouldn't know that of the five virgins we had in the circle, only three of them, Fiona, Craig and Belinda made it back to the pub. You wouldn't know that the pub ran out of jugs so people were hoarding them, even if they were empty. You wouldn't know about Lay Em In Snow running the trail holding onto a leash with nothing on the end (Nooka escaped!) You wouldn't know that the blonde friend of O'Naturell accused Right Bun of being the madame of the hash. You wouldn't know that all the hounds put in their requests for services and that Right Bun is now booked up to the end of 2003. You wouldn't know all this if you weren't there.

If you were there you might have cared that in Mydol's write-up of the Jiggle Belle run, he missed giving credit to the chief hare, organizer of the run, and designer and purveyor of the shirts - MUM! You might have cared that Hash Test Dummy got back from her vacation down in the warm south, and that King Shit had the picture of the tan lines to prove it. You might have cared that P'Tooie had a very erect hat, but Flesh Wound's hat was a very beat up velvet thing, and that Mum's hat still had it's price tag on it. You might have cared that Bum Titty and Flat were accused of being twins and confusing the pack on who was which on purpose. You might have cared that Cam Shaft came up behind King Shit on the trail and told him that it's better in the dark. You might have cared about Lost in Space and Mum comparing light sizes on trail and critiquing all of the Christmas lights on the houses. You might have cared about all of this if you were there.

If you were there you probably didn't care that Shack Shock was looking for a big hole. You probably didn't care that there was a down down given for something about a really really big truck, and Oh Naturell saying that a big truck was compensation for something really really small. You probably didn't care that Twisted Sister informed Wet One that she had to be home by 10:30 for her bubble bath, and that was the cause of Wet One's high blood pressure. You probably didn't care that once again our fearless restaurant critic Blue Balls rated the pub's food 2 thumbs. You probably didn't care that the hares eloped and that One Nut Sue performed the ceremony and that Cocky Horreur is pissed about it. If you were there then you probably didn't care about all this.

If you were they you might care that Shack Shock is pregnant, that Smirk is gay, and that Hash Test Dummy confessed that she has a playpen but no plumbing to go with it. You might care that relatively new boot Loreen locked her keys in her car and was looking for an AMA member so she could get her keys out. You might care that The Body is looking for a new one and is interviewing volunteers December 28, 2001.