Run #956 - The Coldest Day of the Year...

December 11, 2000

Hares: Hash Test Dummy, T.N.T., Bobbin' Robbin
Where: Winkin' Owl Neighbourhood Pub, #10, 13750 Bow Bottom Trail, SE (in Deer Run)
Attendance: 36

Okay, maybe not quite. It was a COLD evening as a small group of 35-40 circled up in the Winkin' Owl for the first onslaught on announcements. Knobby's stag, Left Bun's shower, Christmas Party registration, 1000th run registration, New Years eve,... Did I forget anything?? Oh yeah, I also get to scribe tonight. You know, since I get to scribe, I can also make comment on all of those who didn't show up because (in a whiny voice) "It's toooooo COLD outside. It's going to be a short run, so I won't get any exercise anyway." Hah on you!!!! It wasn't that COLD and it was a long run. Oh yeah I should also mention LJ's having a party on Dec. 21, etc, etc. We were then filed out into the COLD parking lot where we quickly got to the hares describing the marks.

As it was the Ice Krispie Run, we had Snap, Crackle and Pop out to show us the markings. At first they tried to lull us into thinking that the markings were set in marshmallows, but we weren't that numb yet so traditional markings in chalk were used. I must also add that they made most excellent rice krispie squares. Surprising as every second step in making them involved having a drink of wine.

We filed out behind the bar where some slight confusion reigned. I saw Krusty head up towards the lights and figured that he was just running another checkback as usual. Well, I was wrong!! Everybody started heading in the general direction of Krusty. He got so far ahead, that he actually turned back to try and find everybody. We headed west up until the edge of Fish Creek park and then headed south. Have I mentioned how COLD, it was outside. Further south, oh, a slight bend in the road, I think that we headed slightly southwest for a bit. Hardly decided that a Cul-de-sac would be a good direction for an alternate trail in an attempt to quit heading south. He was wrong as we kept heading southish. Now it was finally time to head east.

By this point in time I was totally unsure as to which end of the pack I was in. I didn'trealize that the hares were actually in front of me. Tiny Bubbles was also having a tough time finding his way, as his glasses were totally fogged up (hmmmmm. was it COLD outside or perhaps some OTHER reason). I wonder if that had anything to do with him being late. Naw, he's always cums late.

Sensing the end of the run nearing, a small group of us decided to run through a checkback and head north to the bar. So for those of you who don't get it, the run kinda looked like this.

Except for the part that I missed, not sure what that looked like. But I guess every run looks like this to a degree. Boy was it ever COLD out there.

Well now it was time to go back into the WARM bar. Where us shortcutters didn't really get much of a shortcut and were the last to arrive. Specimen was overheard claiming that she deliberately got lost so that she wouldn't get lost. At the on in, Dreary requested big-breasted women folk to help warm up the beer need for a couple of half yards. Hash Test Dummy would have volunteered, but since she was overheard commenting on how she was half way into setting the trail before she realized that she wasn't wearing a jog bra, she didn't quite measure up. (I have it on good authority that more abundantly breasted women would have noticed a lot sooner, like 20 sec into the run). Lakey and Twisted Sister happily volunteered for that job.

Down-Downs

Well, that's it for now. THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR GENEROUS FOOD, TOY AND CASH DONATIONS FOR CHRISTMAS.

On On!

Right Bun


Editors' Notes

Shopping for Your Favorite Hasher

Every year we face the same Yuletide challenge: What to put in your favorite Hasher's stocking?

It's a struggle for three reasons:

  1. Beer will pull the nails out of the mantle

  2. Running shoes, like you might pick for someone in a different club, are no good to a hasher if they're new. To do a hasher any good, you should have bought them for him/her a year ago, and it's too late now to buy them last year's Christmas gift.

  3. Fancy running gear will make them look out of place in a club where the most stylish member, Hardly, wears what appears to be a mattress cover with obscenities written all over it.

  4. Ties, gloves and shirts tend to end up tied to plungers along with glow-in-the-dark sex toys.

  5. Hasher stockings tend to be black, grimy, threadbare, and layered with years of sedimented sweat, blood, and calcified shiggy.

So here's a selection of Christmas cheer that you might want to consider in the desperate shopping days before the reindeer trample on your rooftop:

  1. Hats. The number of Hashers wearing regular cold-weather toques out there is appalling. If it doesn't advertise the Hash, commemorate a Hash run, or offend passers-by, (or better yet, all of the above,) then it shouldn't be on a Hasher's head. (Who said head...)

  2. Sarongs: These are the all-purpose, all season garment for the discriminating Hasher. Sexy too. Wonder why Knobby sets the standard for World's Sexiest Male and Dreary has stalkers from three different continents? Believe us, it's not their personalities. Run (don't race) down to your nearest sarong store now.

  3. Megaphone: How many Hashers are terrified and intimidated by the bullying antics of the Hashmistress? All of us. (Though some enjoy it more than others.) But if you want your voice heard in the Circle, this is what you want under your tree.

  4. Tickets to the 1000th Run: On sale until the end of December, full price afterwards. In case you didn't read our previous editorial. (Though we assume you clipped it out and laminated it for future reference.)
  5. Something nice for someone less fortunate: See Krusty for ideas on how to make Christmas brighter for someone who would really appreciate it.

On-On,

Yer Editors


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