Run #895 - Jiggedy Jig

December 6, 1999

Hares: Krusty, Sumpington, and Left Bun
Location: Club X bar in the Days Inn (formerly called the Highlander Hotel), on the corner of 19st and 16ave NW

Around 78 brave souls wandered into the parking lot at the Hilander.. er Days Inn on 16th Ave at 19th street NW. Butthead dressed in some strange Finish outfit, complete with ACD's horn, started shouting something about circling up. Someone yelled, "Who's the scribe tonight?" I responded "I am!" Beer gods of the hash - WHAT HAVE I DONE?!! I could have gotten out of this if I hadn't opened up my trap!

More flapping of gums. You know - introduce ourselves, announcements, marks for the run, etc, etc. And we're off. Like a herd of flat footed turtles. I remember running through the mall, over to SAIT, down the hill, back up the hill, and home again home again jiggedy jig.

Editorial Over-Ride In Action:

Editor 1: OK... this description of the run is pretty weak so here's another interupitation ... God Damn was it cold. And as the Xmas season is approaching everyone in the Hash should be asking Santa for long undies and 'hotshots' to stick down their pants! I think that the circles should becum more intimate and personal and be a group clump rather than a circle. Better exchange of body heat!

Down the road we went... Running, walking, yelling, and looking for chalk outlines of ex-Hashers (rest their soles, at least their running shoes). Yes, even the police couldn't identify the victims but one Hasher bravely stood up and identified them because of his extensive carnal knowledge of all three... There's a story there but I'm not going to look for it!

The silent auction was a grand success! And to the person who out bid me by a dollar, what a cheap skate in the extreme! Thanks to all for their generous donations.

Editor 2: A northwest neighbourhood watch was on red alert as residents were interrupted from their warm milk and brandies by the sound of puffing lunatics, travelling in directionless herds through the gloomy, formerly respectable streets of Briar Hill (Hill being the operative word for this locale). This unsettling situation, coupled with the ominous body markings on their spotless streets, caused many a ruffled quilt and rattled tea cup.

Hijinx from that cursed Tech school? Should have bulldozed it years ago and put in another curling rink. But wait, the tech students themselves are alarmed, their last minute cramming and their parkade violated by the same mysterious panting and honking horde. No doubt the LRT is the source of this noxious invasion, or perhaps the dilapidated and decaying North Hill mall, source of degenerates and lost shopping carts for many years.

Aldermen have been alerted and corrective action is anticipated for this week, perhaps by re-zoning the entire ward to exclude both runners and drinkers, and hopefully our northwest seniors can resume their fireside naps, secure in the knowledge that hashers and the like have been banned to the far reaches of Bowness and Forest Lawn.

Down Downs

Choir consisted of P'Tooie, Fuhkawee, and two other unmentionables. Down Downs consisted of the usual drivel: visitors, new boots, archives, the hares (Krusty, Sumpington, and Left Bun in her always present while haring pigtails), Butthead because he had no Beaver and so received the Hash Shit, Knobby - snitch one fingers TNT, Pussy Killer - Snitch two fingered Fuhkawee, there's an auction for Camp Horizon tonight and then finally ON THE PISS.

COMMENTS WHEN ASKED WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE RUN

Smirk - Best Run Ever (what - you expected something different?)
Clutch Bag - nothing.
Pole Vault - I enjoyed it actually.
Mydol - Never thought I'd have to go through school again!
Catamite - Awesome. Too short. Not enough beer checks, but a lovely trail non-the less.
Crazy Horse - I found a white hare!! Woof! Woof!
Butt Head - I had trouble with my blowjob on the trail
Lakey - Oh! Sorry.
King Shit - Thanks to the vaseline, my crotch smells like baby powder
Tiny Bubbles - You want paper?
Mum - Never loose the high ground
Ben Wa - I thought it was nice
Whale Wanker - Pardon?
Hot Flashes - It wasn't there.
Dreary - Beaver must be getting tutored on how to be a teacher
Moonshine - I really think Butthead needs blow job lessons
Madonna - OOH! AAH! I got smacked in the face by a tree... and I liked it!
Not To Deep - I like running through schools
Blue Balls - It was very confusing and strange, if I think about it.
King Shit - I have one, but.....
Right Buns & ACD - It was dry and warm and cozy
Hot Dog - Not much, but Ice Bag was getting bossy on the walking trail

So there you have it - quick write up, hasher interviews, and it's all in written down in black and white so it must be true, right? If I missed something then you were there - you remembered it better than me, and you don't need to read about it here. If you weren't there, then you probably don't care or else you would have been there, and if I missed something you wouldn't know anyway so JUST PISS OFF!

On On,

Dreary the Hugging Man
Calgary H3 Canada, Eh?


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