Hare: Dreary
Location: Grandma's Restaurant, 5147 - 20 Avenue SE
Here follows a recitation of the sins of the Calgary Hash House Harriers on the occasion of Dreary's 777th run....
Dreary wants us all to know that he has more hashes under his belt than anyone else in Canada. Calgary H3 is the oldest hash in Canada and Dreary has showed up more than anyone else. As she gave him a down-down, Hot Flashes reminded the hash that "you don't really wanna know what Dreary's bottom smells like". Is he still wearing the same tights he wore on his first run?
A "woman of distinction" was named Stinky for trying to name herself. Henceforth, she must shout "Stinky! Stinky! Stinky!" after every song.
Sumpyton couldn't handle the continuous flashing, so he turned in H.O.T. Dog and Lost It for taking photos of each other on trail
I must be doing something right, Overdone gave me my money back.
Gnu Moon is terribly proud of his shlong. He likes to wear baggy shorts (or are they culottes?) Pierre was named Gnu Moon because it would've taken a mystic gnu to find the trail tonight... or was it that his arse is hairy as a gnu's... or was Pierre named because Mydol said that the crack of Hot Flashes' ass was the worst thing he'd ever seen? Was Pierre named out of...
Don't you hate getting e-mails like this one?
Subject: Alpine Swiss hi.Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 11:29:30 MST
Having a fantastic time so far. Malcom X has been great. I've been partying it up and I don't want to go to work, but I guess all good things must come to an end. Hope you guys are doing great. send me a little hello when you have time.
Ang a.k.a. Hot Tail
The trail was marked with sevens, instead of the traditional "H"s. Ben Dover wanted to know how Dreary managed to get that great big on-on mark up on the channel 2&7 billboard.
Al was named "No Staying Power" for always leaving early. He left before having a down-down. Perhaps he couldn't stay and face up to the incredible stamina of Hare of the Dog and Pole Vault, who they recently celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary. Fortunately Trail Screwer appointed herself "designated drinker" in Al's place thus committing the sin of....
Trail Screwer was quickly renamed Quick To Swallow.
Almost before he sat down, Stranger had 2 cokes and a menu at his table. That didn't keep Oral Fixation's attention though, her loins were stirred by....
Enraptured by the sweaty oiled steroid-bulked hulks of the WWF, Oral Fixation, Left Bun and Four Teats shouted and shoved at any hashers who dared to pass between them and the television set.... meanwhile Butthead was transfixed by Star Trek Generations on the other set. You figure it out.
The on-in featured puppets, dolls and other knickknacks hanging on the walls. Why was Knobslinger looking up the doll's skirts? I haven't done that since 4th grade.
Party Pumper was downed for losing her clothing in a bar last week.
Wet Butt confessed "Every time I cum here I get it in the head". Smirk assures me that Wet Butt's recent absence has nothing whatsoever to do with a tempestuous relationship with Wet One.
Shortly after Gnu Moon told the RA's "I'll do ya later", Ben Dover asked them, "After all we've been through you can't remember my name?".
Christmas parties are a pain in the neck for Karie... that's why the hash named her Hickie. She also started swallowing (her beer) way too early.
Speaking of swallowing, Ben Wa went down behind a group of hashers, but that didn't save her from the pleasure of the RA's.
You'd think that "Wrath" would be the appropriate category for most down-downs; especially after Hot Flashes warned "You guys are testing my RA-ness!", but the sins of the hash are many and varied.
Dastardly was actually on trail this week. "Hardly tricked me!" he whined, "Besides, he shops at Wal-Mart!".
Someone got the "horny" hash shit. It might have been Mydol, or it might have been Lap Dog, who has been saying he's gonna leave for weeks. Fuck off already!
A fight started in Grandpa's Pub and worked it's way into the lobby. It's fortunate that the pack was too big to fit in the Pub. We had already moved to Grandma's Restaurant next door; besides, our minds were on other things....
"Hey! Did you hear?" squealed Left Bun, "Everything's for sale here!". Then she ran off to enter the Piñata draw.
OK. OK. So I was 25 minutes late for this hash. So I missed most of the run and ran the trail backwards. But my parents were visiting, so I left a little later... then a wrong turn in Inglewood took me 20 blocks off course... besides, I got plenty of material at the On-In
On On,
King Shit
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