Run #855 - With Visitors from the American Capital

April 12, 1999

Hares: Butthead (Did someone say Head?), Canadian/Queen/Smelly Beaver, Lost in Space and LISOL (Lost in Space's Old Lady)
Location: The National Hotel Blues Bar, 1042-10 Av SE
Weather: Sunny skies; Temp. 12 degrees C; Wind West North west gusting at 20 KMHE
Hashers: 63 noisy Hashers circled

Before I begin this scribing thing I wish to complain about having to do a better write up than some silly dog named "Crazy Horse". I have recognized for some time that the Hash is going to the dogs, however the thought that they (Crazy Horse) can compose better than the average Hasher is quite disturbing. Accordingly, should any of yuo colmplain about spelling errors, grammer ur compmosishun, I will have no uther choise but to have you ised by our luvly R.A's.

Now that I have that off my chest, on with what really happened...

We began this luverly run from one of the trendy pubs in town known as the "The Nash blues Bar". Upon entering this fine establishment it was evident that real movers and shakers of calgary frequent this locale. Most of them wear cowboy hats and blue jeans. They are a most friendly group of patrons, and I understand that our very own Butthead (did someone say...) partook of someones beernuts from the table and almost started W.W.3 On the outside of the Pub our humble Hashboss, Nobby attempted to get the hashers assembled. however this is not an easy chore, what with Whalewanker, Dreary and Annie blowing their own horns, and Cocktail blowing his Kazoo, Nobby could barely be heard notwithstanding that he could not be seen above those tall hashers, Nobby was so upset he made poor Raghead, and Thongq sit on ice for disrupting the proceedings.

Thankfully, in the circle, there were no announcements, but we did have 5 sexy (a la Lewinsky) Hashers from Washington, and an archive, who were introduced. I will tell you later who they were.

The Hares, all four of them (1/2 of the Hash) then proceeded to give us the lowdown on the markings and pointed us in the general direction of the run, East northeast, it was in the opposite direction to where the sun shines in your eyes. Two of our Brightest Hashers, Hardly and Always with Wings, ran it backwards, Hmmm what a surprise. These guys are about as sharp as a bowling ball, we met them later at the D.S.

The rest of the Hash, Including yours truly, headed toward the Zoo (where most of them belong) but the devious hares had created a long checkback, and after crossing the river, thankfully they were smart enough to use the bridge, the true trail headed (Did someone say H...) east into Inglewood and along the river path. We proceeded to run past some funny coloured condos, and would you believe it, an arrow showing us which way to go, across a field, through some trees and onto a playground.

This is where Nobby was observed sitting on one end of a teetertotter and inviting all Harriettes to sit on the other end of his big "stick". This sexual offence would later be punished by the R.A's at the ON In. I believe that Nobby was satisfied by some of the Harriettes.

Following this playground stop the Hash continued the trail along the river, until we arrived at the other side of the Cushing bridge, where we had a D.S.; Drink Stop. Fortuneately for this scribe the Hares had been considerate enough to include rum and pineapple juice as their choice of drink. As you may or may not be aware rum is much better than beer. 007 commented that there should be umbrellas in the drinks, however, the Hares were obviously natural beer drinkers and did not realize what a cocktail looks like.

Another observation at the D.S. was "Crazy Horse" asking Lakey if he could have a drink, Lakey refused because he would be driving home later; apparently Crazy Horse and Ptooeey have a drinking problem and as members of AA, they are not permitted the evil rum:this family has already gone to the dogs.

This is the Drink Stop that Hardly and A.W.W. showed up to continue running in the right direction. Amazingly, they got it right this time. The rest of the run back to the pub was relatively uneventful, other than the playgroung stop.

It shoud be mentioned that this run ranks as a 10 out of 10. Why you ask? Because they served Rum, and there were arrows all along the trail showing the hash which way to go.

At the On IN

Wett One told me about her trip Down to mexico and proceeded to show me her tan lines. She said it was her first time Going Down but she really enjoyed it, and was looking forward to going down many more times. Hmmm, lucky Smirk. Although Smirk told me he had gone down many times but this time the visibility was so bad he needed a flashlight!!!. I was not sure what to say. Apparently Cocktail and Not too deep were looking to get some excercise on the weekend so they decided to go out for a cycle. When they returned they were still full of vim and friskiness so they decided to take in another form of athletic activity, unfortuneately,everything did not go as planned, and now Not Too Deep is getting physio for her poor back. Doesn't that make you want to cry ?

Down Downs – Performed by Wett One & Fuckowee

  1. The Hares for a fine run – Butthead, Beaver, Lost In Space, Lost In Space Old Lady (LISOL)
  2. Archive – Newt
  3. Visitors - All from Washington – Two Lips On a Dyke, Udder Delite, Drinks On Me Bud, Big Bird Turd and Just Joannie. (editurd's note: the RA's named Joanie "Monica" because she was a Washington virgin)
  4. Run 200 – Lost It
  5. Run 150 – Ice Bag
  6. Nobby for committing a sexual offence. Asking Harriettes to get on his Big Stick (you gotta be kiddin : he has small shoes). Kingshit crossdressed as a beautiful maiden proceeded to jump on Nobby's Knee and attempted to hump him.
  7. Just Joannie from Washington was named "Oxymoron", because she claimed to be a Washington Virgin. Obviously there is no such thing.
  8. Perfessor was downed for his 100 birthday. He looks good to me.
  9. Sherry Lee was Named "Oral Fixation", but I do not know why.
  10. Hash Shit was given to Hans Solo for competitive running
  11. Wheel Of Death was spun and lucky Big Bird Turd was given a Blowjob.

Once again the R.A's did a great job, however, it would be nice if they got some Respect from those Hashers who continue to disrupt the



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