Hares: Krusty & Hardly
Location: River Bend Station, 40 Riverglen Dr SE
This "dead hare" run was set by the lean, mean, ever-cool Krusty machine, and the sniveling whiner TPL who was none too impressed by the thought of being chased through Riverbend, and north across Glenmore Trail and back by the surly Hare hunters. Once it was well known that we would be chasing live bait, the usual fucking around in the starting circle was cut mercifully short, and the hares only got about a 5 minute head start (Did someone say HEAD?...).
Lumberjack managed to take a wrong right turn early in the run, and lost the pack, and was unable to rejoin them, but at least he checking out the entire NW quadrant of Riverbend for marks (unsuccessfully for that matter). The clairvoyant Slippery, had a feeling that one of the foal was in trouble, so he ran through a check and met up with Lumberjack snooping around the On-in. While trying to rejoin the pack, this pair passed some sort of wrecked clubhouse (an ancient Indian Hash House?), and some belligerent teens, before realizing they were trapped... sandwiched between the tall sound barrier Riverbend residential fence, and the chain link fence to the North designed to keep delinquents off Glenmore. After prying open a nailed shut gate, which led nowhere, they finally gave up, and returned in shame to the On-in.
At the On-in, Fukowe seemed a little lost, without his side kick Wet One. He forgot all about the Wheel of Death, there was no Hash Shit and he didn't even have any sexual offenders to punish.
Special attention (free beer) was bestowed on Party Pumper for being slower than usual, Lost In Space for being Lost in Calgary (or was that lost in time) because he showed up at last weeks venue, for this weeks Hash! Others to get free beer included Neon Stripper for being a late cummer, and Butt Head for being a healthy eater. Someone got a 50 th Hash down-down, but my blond brain forgot who. Might have been Always With Wings
The last free beers went to Right Bun for smelling sweet like Left Bun, who was also dragged into the center. Before they got to drink their beers, King Shit slid in between the two girls to finish off the picture... the asshole between the two buns! Upon seeing this, Always With Wings was quick to point out that he had just as much right to be found between two buns.
There was also a disturbing rumor being circulated by Golden Showers that our sacred Web site http://onon.org/asm/ had been "root-kitted" by some hackers. I'm not sure what all this means, but apparently Tiny Bubbles couldn't get it up for several days afterwards! Good luck with fixing your root problem, Bubbles!
Jake the (Slippery Armpit) Snake