Hares: Dreary & P'Tooie
Location: Museum of the Regiments
It was a dark and Windy nite. Around sixty (60) or so hashers circled up looking for something a bit more interesting that their usual boring lives... To the casual passer by - I suppose it would appear that there are at least 60 losers in the city of Calgary who have little to confuse their idle minds. Oh for the blissful life of those who have little to worry about; or perhaps little to worry with.
Well for the second time in two weeks Tiny Bubbles forgot his hash shit. A few advised that perhaps it would be a good idea to go back and get it. However, since Bubbles was also the scribe this thought was a bit of a dilemma. How to scribe a run a person is not present at??? Hmmm, well probably its been done before in the Hash. Most have forgotten the run by the next week anyway. Yes, weekly runs for the weakly minded.
Well, 7:15 PM and off we were off like a turd of hurdles. In infinite hash wisdom the check was at one of the bigger intersections. This left people milling around through traffic demonstrating almost gymnastic ability as they dodged vehicles carrying the saner, more cautious, and no doubt puzzled citizenry of this fair city. Eventually it was discovered that the run did not go behind the fence that stretches continuously for miles and miles and miles and miles. And the pack settled down to its normal methodic pace. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left bun, right bun, left bun, right bun.... whups... Looks like Right Bun is practicing her splits again... that girl sure looks flexible. Hmmmm
So on and on the evening wore on. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot... I figure this repeated itself about 5117 times. Not bad. I can count that high. It was an interesting run for the numerically inclined. And some figure running is boring.
At precisely 8:14 by my watch, we were back. Back a little wearier, but ecstatic that once again we had conquered the challenge of the day. Its a good feeling actually. A feeling of accomplishment. A feeling of purpose. A feeling of... oh there's the beer!!!!
Bobbin Robin figured the scribe (me) (obviously - there is a logic to it) was taking notes on toilet paper. Well - there is a certain appropriateness to that imagery I suppose.
And about this time good old Butt Head decided to show up - with the hash sheets. No doubt he'll show up late for the next run too - but this time he'll have the excuse that the scribe was of course tardy in getting the run written up. Of course!!! Most like to stretch the pleasure out as long as possible, right. There's a logic to it.
Choir Boys circled up... ACD (well technically not a boy), Bat Man, Butt Head and Dreary. Dreary is pretty popular in the choir. He knows some of the words.
Hmmm - that's Four (4) Teats over there. Seems to be lactating a bit. Maybe its just beer. Ya, probably just beer. Scribe should go check it out right? Official business. Right. There's a logic to it. We can't have false or misleading information in the Hash trash can we now. Damn, she got away.
About this time our S&M Madame (whups - R.A.) decided it was time to pick on the SCRIBE. It isn't enough that poor Tiny Bubbles was expected to carry the HASH SHIT in one hand... with pen in the other hand and paper in the other hand... Now he's expected to carry a mental crutch in his other hand too. The down down was lite brew: the low calorie kind. I guess there is a logic to it. Rummer had it that Bubbles was starting to waist away. I recall the Hash Shit was awarded to Bubbles in the first place because he was caught passing FROPS. Well, if there's more beer at the end of the run, maybe the FROPS should be passed more often. There's a logic to it.
Well, not only was the down down lite brew, it came with a hail of whacks from the wacky R.A. who is proving that not only is she into D&S and likes to control we worms who wish to revel in her regal presence, she is also into S&M. I did notice there are cuffs on the hash shit. Kinky!!! (grin)
Dreary and P'Tooie were rewarded for setting the run. Other than the obvious attempt to thin our ranks with that first (1st) check, it was a nice run. AN honourary and obviously neutered Gispert accompanied this down down. Funny though - I didn't remember Gispert on the run - he must be a "late" comer.
Next on our S&M MADAME's abuse list were Lost it and King Shit. They were wearing shorts on the run. This is February, right? Hurrah for Global Warming!!! Who cares about the ozone layer too - so what if some frogs have four (4) eyes. There have probably always been frogs with four (4) eyes and some green peace kinda guy happened upon one and now there is a new fad started where all the planet watch types are out hunting around for four (4) eyed frogs. This will upset the balance of nature. I always thought concern for the planet was best done in front of the TV set anyway. Hashers have no concern for the environment - that was pointed out to us on the 800 run - right? People who are concerned about the environment would not have the audacity to go running around in it, would they? Noooo they'd be the smiling complacent doting citizenry who stays home and sits in front of their computers or their TV sets and minimizes energy expenditures so as to minimize impact on the environment.
Whups... another down down... my mind strayed.
Looks like Clutch Bag and I Like Beige allowed their minds to stray a bit... and their tongues too it would seem - because now their tongues get another workout... a nice cool beer. We Hashers need to keep in balance and exercise all parts of our bodies. Sometimes the R.A. does not respect we worms have needs.
Four (4) Teats, Boner, and Ted, were given down downs for being archived, new boots, visitors.
Turns out that Left Bun, and Knobby have a common interest. Apparently Left Bun was not wearing perfume and has not had a shower for three (3) days. Meanwhile, found in Knobby's pants we have "ta dah!!!" Left Bun's lost mitten. Now this mitten has a mouth - and eyes... sort of a little puppet. So is Left Bun now becoming the puppet master. Hmmmm. Kinky. Knobby did not strike me as the type. Of course, the choir piped up with the Woodpecker song, a fitting theme it would seem, and our S&M Madame had fun playing with the puppet mitten. Hmmm - very kinky.
Right Bun, as we all recall was practicing her splits on the run and demonstrated to all how wonderfully flexible she can be. And not her reward - a down down of course.
That about sums it up. The wheel of death was spun by Clutch bag and I like Beige and unbelievably our R.A. got her wish because a spanking came up... Clutch Bag sure seemed to smile at this one. hmmm Kinky.
Run Rating: | Venue | +20 |
| Length | 6.5" | |
| Level of difficulty | +5 | |
| Amount of shiggy | -5 | |
| Weather | +2C | |
| A good one! | +22 | |