Hares: 007 and Krusty
Location: Bob's on the Hill
"This run will not be Awwwbuuuuuu Dawwwbeee" said 007. It took him a loooong time to speak those words. Pity I didn't pick up on that first hint.... and then we were running across the Krusty, refrozen snow.
The trail was apparently well marked during the day; unfortunately we run at night. Confusion reigned. Hashers got lost early and often. At one point ACD thought she was short cutting, but in fact she and her entourage were the only hashers on trail.
After a particularly long checkback, I found myself far behind the rest of the hash. I hooked up with Hardly,Twisted Sister and several other lost souls. We had circled a schoolyard twice, fortunately it had a playground, when a hare finally sauntered by. We had enough half-wits in our pooled half-minds to realize that hares usually know where the trail is. We got on trail and stayed on trail. This was our downfall.
We finally found ourselves running westward on 17 Ave SW. Most hashers, realizing that Bow Trail and the bar were to the north and headed right, guessed that the trail went that way too. They were wrong. The lucky bastards!
Lost It, Twisted Sister, Hardly, Gord, Who's on Top? and I went left. Down the true trail. We ran up Signal-this. We ran down Strath-that. We followed sparse flagging into the woods. We zigged through 'burbs. We zagged through alleys. Eventually Gord, Who's on Top? and I were running together down Strath-something-or-other. Krusty had confidently told us "just go down this street a ways, and turn right".... so we went down the street a ways.... and a ways more, hmm not that right turn.... and a ways more, hmm not that right turn.... and so on. Eventually Gord noticed the big honkin' power transformer beside Bob's on the Hill, and we were on-in.
We arrived shortly after 8:45. Twisted Sister & Hardly showed up about 10 minutes after us. "That was one fucking long run!" said P'Tooie.
Now it was finally time for...
This week's choir were Dreary, P'Tooie, Wet
Butt and Home Alone.
Wants It was naughty, so our lovely & gracious RA let
her sit up front for the whole show! For a moment we thought that
Mistress Wet One was gonna spank her, but it was just a tease.
Wants It was later heard complaining about how disappointed she was with
her punishment. I'm sure the RA's will find a way to to satisfy her.
First downed were the hares. "You look like shit!" said Wet
One. We all knew what that hint meant! Punishment was
forthcumming!
New boot Elda told everyone she came by herself. She was named
"Hand Solo". Unlike, Wants It, she doesn't count on the
RA for satisfaction. May she come again and again...
Before the down-downs, P'Tooie came across the room and paid Wet One for
Tight End. I didn't hear why Wet One and Tight End deserved the money,
but somehow P'Tooie avoided punishment.
Always With Wings down-downed on his knees. Apparently our
butch RA thought that the black eye he received last week wasn't
enough punishment.
New boots Elda, Dawn and Joanne; visitor
Rain Man from Edmonton H3 and archive Wants It were
downed. Dawn, is Left Bun's haredresser; she likes hashing
but has never drunk beer.
Gord ran the whole damn trail. It seemed like Gord would never
finish running and this reminded Wet One of the difference
between a nymphomaniac and a wife.
Gord's punishment is to never finish telling this joke, because
his name is now "I Like Beige".
As if running the true trail wasn't punishment enough, the last
hashers to arrive had to choke down some beer. Twisted Sister,
Hardly, Gord, Who's on Top?, King Shit
and the newly named I Like Beige were downed for making the
rest of the hash wait.
Finally it was time for the real punishment! We all thought, by
the hint's she'd dropped, that Wet One was going to give it to
tonight's hare: 007... but she bestowed it on Party
Pumper. Party Pumper had fallen on the ice while short cutting;
she said she "did it with Dreary"... Dreary, who calls himself
"The Hugging Man"... anyone who does it with Dreary deserves
the Hash Shit! Next time stop at the hugging part!
As it turned out, Wet One was toying with us. The Hash Shit
was quickly transferred to 007, who deserved punishment more
than anyone else. Party Pumper spun the "Wheel of Misfortune"
and 007 did not win a spanking (he would have probably enjoyed
a spanking from Wet One), his selection was "Take The
Cherry". Hands behind his back, he drank half a beer, which was
topped with half a glass of whipped cream... somewhere inside was a
cherry. Film at 11 (or whenever Whale Wanker gets around to
emailing me the pix from his amazing electro-cam).
On On, and on and on and on....
King Shit
Down Downs
When hubby never seems to finish...
the nympho says "Yes! Yes! More! More!"
and the wife says "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
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