Run #828 - 1998 Grey Cup!

November 16, 1998

Hares: Pole Vault & Hare Of The Dog
Location: their Love Nest

We circled up on the road in front of Polevault and Hare Of The Dog's place where an old football was being tossed around. Wanna be quarterbacks threw some Hale Mary passes to their cheering (invisible) fans on the slippery make-shift-football field/road until the horn section summoned eager hashers who quickly took over the field. Butthead missed becoming Footballhead by narrowly ducking a pass thrown by ACD, who should have been benched and is in desperate need lessons in making passes.

Football Pool


Ginger Spice $5.00


Ice Bag $5.00


ACD $5.00


King Shit $10.00
Knobby didn't introduce anyone, including the archived hashers. Someone announced an event being held by one of the other Calgary Hashes this weekend. Polevault indicated the usual markings, waved a piece of flagging, screamed "It's Abu Dhabi!!" and pointed us on. Bugles sounded. We slid along the walkway between the houses to the park, then checked and check-backed our way to the bottom of the hill, past the 19th hole, then up the hillside pathway.

OH MY GOD!! A November run with a water crossing!!! However, I think everyone managed to step over it safely. We crested the hill and admired the view before being led back down the hill and thru the woods. ChocoLick commented to me that the hashers would do anything for Polevault - including go down, anywhere, any time. ChocoLick and I stayed up top :) where we eventually FROP'd into his back yard through the camouflaged gate. A late-arriving Nipple Detector greeted us at the door with "I can't believe you guys didn't wait for me!" Let this be a lesson to hashers who believe the start time printed in the Hash Sheet without double checking the hot line and triple checking the internet homepage.

The pre-pre-game analysis on TV was turned off while the down downs were held on the stage above the family room. It was a humbling experience for everyone up there and all participants were on their knees behind bars. First our midget Religious Advisors, Wett One and F'koweeeee called on Ginger Spice to offer his butt to the Sacred Ice Block - "gingerly iced" for disrespectfully throwing snowballs at the RAs during the run. He kept jumping for joy and wiggling around (presumable to get better ice coverage).

Polevault and Hare Of The Dog were downed for setting the run. Actually, Hare Of The Dog claimed to have had nothing to do with setting the trail but she stood in for Gilly (their dog) who was the actual co-hare. Did anyone see any yellow markings on trail?

Post-Grey Cup Survey of Hashers' Sexual Turn Ons
(confessed on the condition of anonymity)

"I like: a beard tickling my bare breast;
naked women in a hot tub;
belly button sucking;
body friction;
crotchless panties under a mini-skirt;
ear licking;
a wet tongue anywhere on my body;
someone sucking on the back of my neck;
girls under 12;
toe sucks;
ear nibbles;
dirty talk;
being tied up;
foreign accents;
cold hands;
a finger in a dark, wet place"

Knobby humbled himself before the crowd and quaffed a quick one for not doing introductions in the circle. Yes, we notice these things. Mum, Jaws, and Sir Edmund Hillary raced through a punitive down down for being archived. Moonshine humbly took her down down for leaving without permission - an extended holiday is it? Cycle safely and think of us occasionally.

The little Smirklette's swim again and Smirk was downed for intending to procreate without permission. Spare us the living-colour details of post-surgical side effects. Some things shouldn't even be imagined. Bobbin Robbin went on his knees for beer. Apparently he was blindly calling "Are you!!??" while standing on top of an "H". Nipple Detector was admonished for being late for the last two runs. He was not excused for having a birthday last week. We all get one once a year. Work around it.

Finally, Dreary led us in a hymnal version of Father Abraham for the impatiently grateful Ginger Spice's down down.

And then we watched. We watched all night, uprooting snacks and beer and furniture, and scaring small children. And it was a source of great personal joy and fulfillment. Those of us in the comfort of the front row suffered the play-by-plan analysis of those in the "box" seat immediately behind us. There was much cheering, beering, munching and foot-rubbing. Many thanks to the foot massage donors.


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