Run #821 - Gobble, Gobble: The Turkey Trot

October 12, 1998

Hares: Mr & Mrs Clutchbag Onin
Location: The old OnIn farm

A large grope of miscellaneously damaged hashers descended upon the house on one Mr & Mrs Clutchbag Onin last Monday afternoon. Luckily these hapless homeowners were forewarned of the impending arrival of these onerously odorous objects of ostracism, and had laid out large rubber sheets and pails of mazola oil in the back yard for those inclined to cavort in front of the neighbors.

This clever ploy kept the majority of this haphazard herd of horny hominids busy whilst their numbers multiplied inexorably. At last, the winner of the MOST DAMAGED HASHER award wandered outside with his flock of feeble formerly fleet footed fans following forth. The hash flockers in their natural habitat.

A salvo of silver-tongued salacious soliloquies sang swifty, sounding strident. The Hares, Kwacky Whorrer and the ever so delightful SQ explained at great length the marking which were to be ignored, and pointed the way to the first mark that was to be taken seriously.

It was at this point that Krusty the clone decided to grace us with his fashionably late presence., adding to the general confusion by asking what marks he should ignore.

The marks to be taken seriously turned out to be 'T's, for Tuna I guessed. I soon found how wrong I was: when intrepid FRB's found these marks surrounded by a circle, the began making gobbling noises enemas (enmass(spellchecker says so)). Well, OBVIOUSLY the "T" meant TWIT, eh CockTale?

The marks turned into large mounds of flour soon enough, big enough to be seen from 200 yards away. In FACT I saw at least one hasher tripping over one such hillock.

Anyway, where was I.... Oh yes, run run run, BS, BS, BS, pant, groan, mumble, stagger. Wait for trail to be determined. Walk, walk, whine, whine, run, hobble, complain, whine, discuss nearest butt of merit, and then we're back to where we started from.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but.... Didn't we just waste good beer swilling time by all this aimless wandering?

Can't we just be a drinking club with a drinking problem, and get on with the business at hand :-)

Speaking of BEER, it was in abundance, food was everywhere, and flesh flew in every direction (Turkey flesh that is, at least, until LATER (oops, later has been censored by the Chief Scribe, citing that 'He didn't get any').

Guest RA BagLady, tuned her tonsils and announced the archived deadbeats who only came out for food: Purple Twist, Tarzan, and MisShiggy took their drinks like little people tend to do. Hopless, pretending to be archived, joined in, showing his prowess in the beer sipping dept.

Doug, once again in very new shoes was named 'Lost in Space' for being there.

Hares were downed for confusing and obscuring the real nature of the marks. Thankyou for a nice run.

150 runs, and a nice new BAG for SQ, well done with that half yard! (she can still swallow, guys)

100 runs for NoHare.

Beer, and more BEER, Great food from every corner of the earth was in evidence.

Ginger Spice was seen pouting, complaining that everyone thought his 'latka' pancakes were saucers, or Frisbees. So everyone bravely munched one down, discovering that they were in fact, delicious flat traditional knitted potato yarmulke (Jewish thinking caps).

As usual, women were teasing poor old PV mercilessly. One LeftButt cruelly feigned a hug, when all she really wanted was a drink. Typical mercenary female ploy if you ask this badly shunned writer.

Drowning my sorrows somewhat later, it was discovered that 5 people can indeed fit on a regular loveseat, if they're really friendly, and no-one may mistake it for REAL love.

007 was seen trying to touch his toes, but only actually making it to his knee. Hmmmm, I thought you said that HotFlashes was teaching you all kinds of contortionist positions :-)

Anyway, after the orgy/asm of fine food, All were replete, and sated, and full, and stuffed.

Thank you OnIn and ClutchBag for donating your house to a wonderfully worthy cause. (has patches found that drumstick I threw behind the TV yet?)

Thank you each an' everyone. I had a time.

Pole Vault


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