I knew it was hash night when my master and mistress put my bandanna on. It was only the second time that I had been hashing - I really enjoyed the first time, although for some reason we didn't run with the rest of the pack, but at the back, but it was still fun - all those smelly feet and crotches.
I met a few more hashers this week, who weren't there last time. I do like all the fuss they make of me, there was even a little hasher there who was my size - Super Soaker I think his name was. I was anxious to get away, but had to wait until everybody introduced themselves (when it was my turn I was just about to bark when my mistress butted in, I will have to be a bit quicker next time).
With a wag of a tail we were off, the pack heading up towards the Reservoir path. I was raring to go but I wasn't allowed to go with them, so we held back until they had gone. When the coast was clear we belted after them (I think I nearly pulled off my mistresses arm in the process) running parallel with the trail, until they all turned around to go back the way they came. Apparently they had lost the markings and so headed back to where we started and headed into the wood. We decided to head them off, so ran back along the path to a shopping mall and waited for them. There I met another little hasher, about my size, but he wasn't as friendly as Super Soaker, he didn't want his face licked. (I heard that Bagapoo had a nasty experience with a German Shepherd and so is a little afraid of dogs). I hope my mistress tells him that I am an Australian Shepherd/Collie, and that I am very friendly and just want to play.
We waited a while for the pack but there seemed to be some confusion as to where the trail was going. Keeping to the back we spotted Dreary, the hare, who told us to cross 14th Street, then meeting up with that nice Polevault, we walked a bit until Dreary told us a short cut. Like a fool my mistress and Polevault believed him and we went off left, then right, then straight, then left until I couldn't detect any smelly feet or crotches anymore. We were lost! Fortunately we knew the way home and we were soon heading in the right direction, but because Polevault couldn't run we had to walk. Then we spotted Dreary approaching us carrying two cans of beer (apparently there was a beer stop and as he realized that we missed it he wanted to redeem himself). Then I spotted my master who, apparently was quite worried when I didn't show up, and wondered where my mistress was as well.
Back in the car I had a treat and then we were off again - I wonder where??? Then we parked and I was left on my own with my water and dinner. I watched them go until they disappeared and then, feeling tired, I decided to have a nap.
When they got back I heard them talking about the run and what went on inside.
The talked about a Religious Advisor forcing hashers to drink beer. Firstly the hares were downed - Dreary, Wet Butt and Neon Stripper. Then there were three visitors or new people, plus archived hashers - Hard Ass, Bum Titty, Ruby Lips and Bushwanker. Thong Queue was downed for hosting a stealth beer check (I guess because most people missed it). Pussy Killer has 50 runs. Lakey and Polevault committed a sexual offence with yours truly because of our disappearing act on trail (so why didn't they come and get me so I could lap a beer?) Then some lost property appeared - a bag of flour which was the culprit causing Polevault to break his arm, and a jacket which Dreary left at the hash the previous week.
Apparently the rest of the evening was uneventful, although Nipple Detector admitted to selling a shirt to Wet Butt in exchange for the Hash Shit - well I guess she is going to get it again next week! Then I heard my master and mistress talking about another hash the next night, in honour of the Full Moon. I do hope I can get to run on this one.
Yours pawsfully,
Shadow
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