I've always liked visiting other hashes in other cities. I like to get to as many interhashes as possible, hash with EH3 and Red Deer H3 as often as possible, as well as the Cracked Moon H3, Tacoma, Seattle, Vancouver, Etc. Last Monday was no exception.
I left the house at 6:00 PM thinking I had lots of time to get to the city of Citadel before the hash started. Unfortunately, I had misjudged the driving time due to road construction on the highway, and arrived just as the circle broke and the pack was heading out. Cocktail, who was also visiting the Citadel H3, had to run back to his chariot for something, and pointed me in the correct direction.
Now, this was the second time that I had run with the Citadel H3, so missing on the introductions in the opening circle was not too much of a handicap. I recognized most of the pack, and was welcomed as I ran up, and through the pack, by many hashers I had not seen for some time. I was surprised however to find that the Citadel H3 hashmaster Knobslinger was not amongst the throng, but it was explained to me by Stranger in his VERY BRIGHT!! shirt that Knobslinger was babysitting a well somewhere, thus the last second substitution.
It also appeared that had I not been pointed in the correct direction by Cocktail, It would not have taken me long to find the pack, as the first quarter of the trail was exactly the same as the last time I ran with the Citadel hash. I guess there is only one way to go from Moustache Pete's. After the first quarter however, the trail did get more interesting, more ups, downs, sideways and checks, and finally we arrived at Strangers (he wants it to be a ) love shack for beer's in the driveway. Here Lumberjack attempted to tell a joke, or a story, or was he just loudly mouthing off as usual? It didn't really matter, as no-one paid any attention to him as usual.
Wet Butt was seen running around with some aluminum step ladders and promising some kinky action later in the run. This ensured that most of the pack followed the true trail to the fence (6 feet high and solid as a brick shithouse) between Stranger's and the ON IN. The ladders suddenly appeared (from the back of a car) and those not brave enough to climb and jump off the fence, scrambled up and down the other side.
Back at the On In, Lumberjack presided as the religious advisor. Skewbic Hair was visiting (?) with Mucky Dip, but I guess that after resigning as RA, Lumberjack wasn't about to give up his chance in the spotlight again after being told by Pole Vault that he could do it tonight.
Lumberjack tried to call the circle to order. As usual, no one paid any attention to him. He appointed a choir consisting of P'Tooie, 007, Thong Que, and Dreary. Only after the choir led the pack in "Why are we Waiting?" did things get underway.
Down Downs went to the hares Stranger, Wet Butt, & Cocktail who substituted for Knobslinger.
New Boots Leanne and Cindy are to consider themselves hashers and part of the family. Tiny Bubbles and Skewbic Hare were reprimanded for competitive hashing to the ladders. The question as to how TB won was pondered as we asked the question "Why were they born?" Dastardly was recognized for only having 3 brain cells left after completing his 200th run. Lumberjack however showed that he only had one left, because he had to be reminded to give Dastardly his recognition jacket. Lumberjack then went on to explain that at one point he say 4 buns (only 4?) on the run, and wondered if they had names. A double header naming then took place with Laura becoming Left Bun and Sandra becoming Right Bun. Baby was presented the half-yard for his 300th run. His recognition award was not available (the soother kept melting when they tried to bronze it!) so it will be presented at a later date. Trevor, the manager was thanked for special beer prices and door prized for the hash. 007, honorary carrier of the hashit on the run for wearing two left shoes, brought the aforementioned sacred vessel to the front, so it could be filled and presented to Ben Wa (no balls attached!) for being rude to the RA. Her defense... Hey! It's only Lumberjack!! Lost it was lambasted for using street names with hashers, and the Hardly, who thought we was going to get away without doing a down down, did a really stupid thing. He pissed off Lumberjack! Out came the Hashit once again, and now Hardly gets to carry it on the next run.
Lumberjack then declared the circle closed, but he committed a major foo piss. (Only one - a light night for Lumberjack. He forgot to thank his choir for all of their hard work and leading the hash in song throughout a Lumberjack circle, which we all knows goes on and on and on and on.........
The choir had to purchase their own beer, and Skewbic Hair led the pack in recognizing the choir. I trust that RA for the next week's run will take note, and suitable punishment will be handed out.
Door prizes were then handed out. Hashers Won. Non-hashers didn't. (Funny how that went!)
Thong Q was seen eating some non-hasher guy's pizza. How did it end? Hunk city? Hard crust? Difficult to swallow? Satisfaction? Where's the thong? Who can't get some?
As the evening wound down, I thanked the Citadel H3 for an enjoyable evening, and got in my car to the long drive back to Calgary. Once again, another enjoyable visit with another hash.
Dreary the Hugging Man
Calgary H3
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