Run #810 - Lumberjack's Short One

July 27, 1998

Hares: Lumberjack & Stranger

Well another Lumber Jack run. I checked my equipment, First Aid Kit, climbing boots, compass, pitons, ropes, spare sleeping bag in case it goes longer than 2.5 hours, emergency flares to alert the medical evacuation helicopter, my will is filled out and filed, Tuesday morning appointments canceled so I can sleep in after a soggy, shiggy filled, grueling run, several changes of clothes and my medical insurance card.

As I was innocently standing in the circle bothering Chocolic and asking her about her sex life, I saw our Hash Master Pole Vault pointing at me. Realizing that he wanted me for something, I turned my back on him and talked to anyone that would listen. Then Dreary gets into the circle and starts to talk, so I grunted and the next thing I know I was wisely chosen from the millions of New Boots and the 63.95 hashers to becum the scribe. An honour that everyone should volunteer for. With all this equipment for Lumber Jack's run, I must have a pen or paper here. Looking for that I missed all the announcements except I heard Lumber Jack say that the Prospector was closed and we would have to go to Sneakers Pub. I really wasn't worried as no doubt I wouldn't see the pub until well after midnight.

Lumber Jack explained the pre-laid marks and of we go. I won't go too fast as I need to save my energy for the millions of miles we will travel tonight. Off we went as most of the pack passed me, but I thought I would move a little faster after Bag Lady and her unborn hasher ran past me. Up and over bridges (obviously the wrong way for a LJ run) until I saw the herd yelling check back as I saw Mydol and Lost It running towards me. A short while later we started to cross a river, one of many no doubt to come tonight. This one was an interesting crossing as there was a rope running across it. Any other time I would see a rope crossing a river, I would leave it alone as it must be some military exercise in the area, but then I remembered this was a LJ run so I instinctively went for the rope and clenched my cheeks with knowledge that my will was completed. Once on the other side I watched as Wet One came across, waiting for her to take a swim with our camera between her bosom again. But not this time as she arrived on the bank and took the camera out and snapped some pictures. There was Beaver Flats and Lost It dragging Dreary across the river and Suck Her giving a hand to Lakey after she said she really needed a man tonight. As I talked to Wanna Be, I saw 3 Hashers go down in the water, while Stupid Qestion was using her water wing and two other flotation devices to keep her safe.

After the second river crossing, with at least twenty five more to do tonight, Chocolic and Pyro ran into the same wasps that 007, White Balls, Hardly and Knobby ran into earlier. Mind you they only received one or two bites each, as the gallant 007 held them off until everyone escaped, and he received more than 60 stings, or was it 6, but I am sure Hot Flash aka Titanic Twat, would take care of him later on. At this point I was distracted as I saw Laura cum out of the water showing off her white panties under her white shorts. Next time I told her she should wear black or red!

Babe was also getting cumming out of the water but was heard he was waiting to get wet with King Shit but alas his new love was missing from the run itself. Well enough wasting time, I had better get back on trail as only twenty minutes had past since we started and I knew we had 3 or more hours left on this run. I saw some of the marks that apparently co-hare Stranger set who seemed to be using enough flour to make a pancake at each mark. But with at least 4.5 hours left on this run, I continued on. I checked my water supply, compass and food, and I was ready for the next 6.75 hours before the ONIN would start, or the last hasher to finish the run. Around a bend and across an open field and we are back to the parking lot! Unbelievable, a short 30 minute Lumber Jack run? Is it that he is getting senile and thought he laid a long one, but forgot where he was? Did he run out of time or was he busy in Edmonton and become distracted, forgetting that he had to do sixteen reconnaissance before setting a run?

Upon arriving at Sneakers pub, I noticed Maria, a new boot, shivering away in her wet T-shirt. I volunteered to give her my old but dry T-shirt since I had received one of the new outstanding generic T-shirts. This shirt was drawn by some obviously talented Hasher and only $15. Relatively cheap considering all the talent this person has and knowing that these T-shirts will become a collector's item in a few short months. See Hare of the Dog for these treasure items.

The main conversation at the pub was not the sex life of a camel, Babe and King Shit or Flossy, but about how Lumber Jack could actually set a run that only lasted 30 minutes. Or how we all arrived back at our cars NOT covered in slimy shiggy (I was disappointed). Or why there was only 2 instead of his normal 25 river crossings. Or...well after beer was served by Whale Wanker we talked about the New Boots, much more interesting.

The Downs Downs were conducted by past RA Knobby who was up to his old tricks of getting as much beer for himself. He gave away free beer for the following indescribable and forgotten Hash antics:

Hares: Lumber Jack, Stranger and Pyro, an excellent but short trail.
New Boots and visitors: Maria, Sherry, Heike, Daniel, Bob, Shannon, Trica, Jeff, Sticky Fingers, Paul
Hot Flash or TT for flashing the RA.
Chocolic on behalf of all those stung. She then modeled the prick marks on her ear and wrist.
Twisted Sister for giving all of us an unobstructed view of her changing in the parking lot.
Others to Fuckowee, Mydol, Air Brakes, P'tooie, Suck Her and Babe for??????
Daniel was named Bush Wanker, glad I missed this one.

Knobby then gave the Hash Shit to a new boot, knowing full well he would get it himself for breaking common sense. Most likely he didn't have any money on him and needed more beer for the evening. So the Hash Shit was presented to Knobby once again. As if we didn't know this would happen.

Well shortly after I was off, especially after we ran out of Hash beer. I went to get something to eat when Bobbin Robin came in to tell me he might get lucky tonight. He had a hot date and was waiting for her to get drunk so she could have her way with him later. Tell me more I said until I realized that she was standing next to him........Oh well next time

Lapdog


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