Run #809 - The Nuptial Run

July 20, 1998

Hares: Wet One & Smirk

What do I remember about last Monday's run? MOSQUITOES !!

It was an otherwise enjoyable and creative run with threatening-looking train tracks and a solid-bottom shiggy crossing. Since it was Wet One and Smirk's celebratory Nuptial Run there were several appropriately-attired hashers, namely Smirk, Wet One, King Shit in a dress, Jane in a pink gown, Hot Flashes in pants, Hardly in a yellow lacey blouse, Kawky Horrer dressed as a priest (shudder), Stranger in a tux, Thong Q in her finest furniture fabric, and Cock Tail who had empty Big Rock cans trailing behind him.

On the run, the aforementioned cans entangled Cock Tail's ankle. He attempted to continue the run at an askewed lope however it quickly became an extreme inconvenience so he and Not Too Deep tore them off.

King Shit and Baby were spotted running through the field holding hands. King Shit was seen to whisper a sweet nothing in Baby's ear at which point Baby broke free and ran away screaming with a grinning King Shit in hot pursuit.

Face Plant claimed that he told Mydol the shiggy was only up to his (Face Plant's) waist, however when Mydol dove in, the shiggy was up to his chest. Forget to account for the height differential, Mydol?

Chocolik was cheered as she swam (literally) across the shiggy. His holiness, Kawky Horrer, attempted unsuccessfully to walk across the shiggy.

We passed over roads, passed under them, crossed train tracks, re-crossed train tracks, entered and exited shiggy, ascended a hill, disturbed a neighbourhood and eventually returned to the on in.

At the On In, Brusky's, our hash choir for the evening consisted of Whale Wanker, P'tooee, Lakey, and Dreary.

Wet One and Smirk were given a down down for getting married then Smirk was presented with a ball and chain which he promptly tied around his waist. I've always heard that one ball hangs lower than the other but this one really hung low. "Just say NO! . . ." was sung but I think it's too late.

Three And A Half Inch Drive and Circumspector were visiting from Palm Beach, to escape the heat no doubt. Also visiting was Pelvic Thrust from Edmonton. Mouthful came out from the archive list. New boots were Jane, Diana, and ???

Cocktail received liquid recognition for getting tied up on the run. Hardly and Twisted Sister were accused of swapping clothing and were forced to imbibe. Kawky Horrer was also forced to publicly sampled some sacred elixir.

King Shit and Thong Q both flashed their panties at the horde. Thong Q claimed to have breasts that were bigger than King Shits but wouldn't prove it although King Shit was game for a showdown.

Baby got a down down for actually crossing shiggy and Chocolik got one for swimming over it. At this point Thong Q stripped her dress off and tried to put it onto Baby but his bust size must be larger than hers because she couldn't get it past his chest. Baby spewed to "Shiggy face . . . "

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" prompted the hash choir to dance the Russian cobble. Then someone made the mistake of saying "head" . . .

Hot Flashes teased all by playing with her pants zipper while being downed for a sexual offense. Someone spotted sheep on the overhead TV and everyone bowed to them. Lumberjack got excited and wanted to tape the program.

Lumberjack got the hash shit for passing (!!!) the melted thermometer from the Stampede Run pig roast. Shiggy Sow attempted to determine the temperature of Lumber Jack's posterior orifice however she settled for putting it into the hash shit cup from which Lumber Jack drank to the tune of the Woodpecker Song.

Pyro did tribute for his 569th run to the tune of "Put your left leg..."

Knobby was recognized for being away for two weeks with a rendition of "It's a small world . . ."

A naming!! Jane, looking splendid in her pink gown is hereafter to be known as "Pink & Reddy" The hash choir came up with a never-before-heard song, "pink something something, auntie, panties, something, something . . ."

Smirk and Wet One were once again called to the front to be wished marital bliss and they were bestowed with a Sexual Aid Kit, the contents of which were immediately donned. Skewbic Hair presented them with a congrats card and a communal gift of a crystal decanter with two glasses.

As an afterthought, Moonshine was downed for hashing on her birthday.

On On,

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