8 Guys Wanna Get Laid

RUN #783 - February 16, 1998
Stavros Pizza, Southland Crossing

It was the hash we had all been waiting for - 8 Horny Guys responding to the 7 Lady Lay from 1997. As one of the 7 ladies, this scribe could hardly wait ... what would these guys do to tantalize us?? Dance provocatively, sing sensuously, show some flesh, or just do what men usually do .... drink beer and boast about their conquests.

The start of the run was quite promising - Knobby enveloped in Valentine shorts, clutching a box of chocolates to hand out to any lucky lady that happened to be within a few feet. The other hares joined him - Lapdog, Bobbin Robin and Krusty. Then - in what seemed like a desperate cry for help, and not to lose face - four other hares were called to the circle, all looking very bemused as to why they were there - Blue Balls, King Shit (who was overheard to say "oh goody, this means I get a free beer), P'Tooey and Sucker. Lapdog nominated himself as the spokesman and gave vague directions and then were were off - behind the mall, west of Macleod Trail. The trail was marked in chalk, which made it very hard to see as we were groveling around in back alleys for a lot of the run. After milling around in the aforementioned alleys of Macleod we headed down Macleod (north) to be met by a checkback. The real trail then proceeded east across Macleod, then gradually in a southerly direction hitting Fairmont Drive and something or other. Enjoying a chocolate from Knobby, I kept having to remind myself I was supposed to take note of the streets, but somehow concentration was not its best this night - as my mind drifted off to what would happen later at Stavros.

I think I recall seeing Bobbin and Lost It dancing in the streets, and, hearing how in a hallucination, which can only be caused by too much fun at Camp Horizon, Not Too Deep and Hare of the Dog began jumping over imaginary Speed Bumps. But then this scribe came down to earth with a crash, slipping on black ice, alas only to be seen by a couple of passers-by. The next thing I knew we were at Willow Park Village circling around to Macleod to approach the On-In from the south.

Inside the empty bar, the anticipation among the pack was intense - not about the what the 8 guys were going to do, I might add, but because we were all dying of thirst. The 8 guys then disappeared and were seen to be dressing in some macabre gear - glasses, muscle shirts, shorts, bedecked in tattoos and smelling like a perfume factory.

The RA - Mr. Scewbic Hare then called the real hares to present themselves, followed by the passive hares. After much flexing of muscles and passing the scent they did their down-downs and left. Was this all we were to see ?? were we not to be entertained......

Archives were next called - Closet Queen and High Balls. Then the only true horny guy, Dreary, was brought up to demonstrate how to really swing low. ACD was next up - her complaint being that tonight's marks were too small to see. "Size is important" says ACD. The sexual offenders, of course, had to be recognized, those dancers in the street Bobbin Robin and Lost It. Polevault was next targeted again, for reasons I know not what. Beaver Flats (now to be named Beaver Flat as that is her name on her mug) received her 100 run mug, only to proclaim that King Shit had offered to drink it in her place in exchange for sexual favours. Then Lakey was brought up front with Cocktale, the former having had her beloved hash wine glass broken during the drunken hockey game at Camp Horizon, the latter for snowboarding ??

Then it was hash shit time, but all this scribe remembers is things being thrown in the air, having another beer and still waiting for the 8 Guys Who Wanna Get Laid. Oh well, I guess this scribe will have to organize another 7 Lady Lay next year and show them how it is really done.


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