The Rabbie Burns Run... an' all dat!

RUN #779 - January 26, 1998

There once was a Scottish poet named Robert Burns,
Who if alive today would be looking pretty gruesome,
With very wrinkled skin and falling out hair,
An' all dat.

Now our own On-In with help from Outlaw,
Likes to hare a run on the Monday closest to his birthday,
So we won't forget old Rabbie and his haggis,
An' all dat.

So last Monday we gathered at the Museum of the regiments,
Where they have medals from all the regiments that were stationed in Calgary,
And they have displays and tanks and big guns,
An' all dat.

But we didn't go there to remember or look at the tanks,
We came to run with the Calgary hash,
To drink beer and do down downs and visit,
An' all dat.

At the appointed time and at the appointed hour,
The appointed hashmaster Pole Vault called us to circle up,
And we went out side and circled in the cold outside the museum,
An' all dat.

And after Pole Vault finished his blathering in the cicle,
On In and Outlaw passed around some scotch and we drank to Rabbie Burns,
And some complained because there was not enough to go around to everyone,
An' all dat.

And then On-In told us the trail had special markings,
And this was due to the fact that this was a special run,
And that it had been poorly marked by eunuchs,
An' all dat.

And then we went and ran to the east,
And then we ran to the south, east, and west,
And some found checks, and checkbacks,
An' all dat.

And On-In got upset because we were sheeping
And we weren't following the true trail,
And some called for a translator because they couldn't understand the big Scot,
An' all dat.

And some got lost on the trail and made there own way home,
And some went for Café Laite,
And some were just led astray,
An' all dat.

Everyone eventually got back to the museum,
Where the beer was waiting and the hash cash was collected,
And On-In passed out agenda sheets before Skewbic Hare started the circle
An' all dat.

And the first Down Downs went to On-In and Outlaw
Because they were the hares and did all the work
And we sang the song and they downed the beer,
An' all dat.

And the second went to Goat Blower because he has more hard long things than a gal knows what to do with,
But he showed that he knew how to get satisfaction from them,
By blowing them himself both when we left and when we came,
An' all dat.

And then Hymnless was called forward because the cums only once a year
Or at least she'd like to so we sang Sexual Life of a Camel,
And from the look on her face it was good for her too,
An' all dat.

And then there was a sad story about some lost souls,
And kawky Horror was called forward for leading people astray,
But because he's sensitive about his smell he only sipped at his beer,
An' all dat.

And then Skewbic Hare admitted that he like to hide out in the women's washroom,
And called Hare of the Dog forward because she used her cell phone to conduct business from the can,
And there was great discussion about just what kind of business she was conducting in the can
An' all dat.

The Vancouver Conspiracy of Dastardly, Double Entry, Home Alone and Twinkle toes were brought forward,
And there were many offenses that were babbled about,
Including Double Entry stopping for Café Laite on the trail,
An' all dat.

And Bobbin Robin got to celebrate the occasion of his 50th run,
And he was given some beer to drink and mug that he got to keep to drink it from,
and the "Get a Life" song was song,
An' all dat.

And it was noticed by the Fashion Police,
That Humungus Hooter Hunter was very chic all dressed in black,
But the ensemble was ruined by the shoes not being as invisible as the rest of him,
An' all dat.

And Krusty saw a dog on the trail that was in obvious distress,
And Krusty came to the dogs aid,
And showed that canine sociology was just one of the training courses he had complete while working at Co-op
An' all dat.

And then it was pointed out that our esteemed leader,
The one and thankfully only Pole Vault had appeared in the paper,
Which was a major crime for the picture and article was decidedly unhash like,
An' all dat.

And then all the kilted ones wearing tartans or close to were called forward,
And all were given little bits of scotch to down,
And Dreary and P'Tooie sang one verse of "The Lassie Song"
An' all dat.

And then On-In and Goat Blower did a little parade with the Haggis
And On In tried to read "To A Haggis"
but he forgot the words and got too emotional to read it all,
So he just hurried up to we could eat the puddin,
An' all dat.

So we et the puddin and drank some more beer,
And the puddin and nips and spuds were good and tastee,
And some came back for seconds but there wasn't enough for thirds
An' all dat.

And during the remainder of the evening several comments were heard by the scribe,
Like how Thong Q got speed humped by Kawky while Hymnless looked on,
And how Home Along didn't get lost even though she was having a brain dead day,
An' all dat.

And Mydol was bopping for the whole run and found it boring,
and P'Tooie did it all by himself and was looking for the A5
And how Not To Deep needed to get by because she had some beer flowing through
An' all dat.

And how Pussy Killer is looking for a room to rent close to with easy access to Downtown,
and how he is willing to pay in very small beans so you should leave a message at Knobby's,
And how Knobby is getting Desperate,
An' all dat.

And so another hashing evening drew to a close and the hashers went home,
And went to work the next day and wished that next Monday,
When they could hash again would hurry and arrive,
An' all dat.

An' all dat.

An' all dat.

Rabbie Dreary Burns


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