A Wanker's Progress


#746 - July 14, 1997


Anyone who has ever Hashed knows that the weekly Hash Run is the event that puts the rest of the week in proper perspective. So it is that we assemble every monday at 7:00 Pee Em (1900 hours for the military and railroaders) at some appointed place to participate an an excercise in juvenile behaviour. Here we are able to forget about the shortcummings of the weekend and see if we can find a new and better date for the cumming weekend.

A disorgasmised group requires leadership. To this end we have Mismanagement. Lap Dog is the top dog here and upon senescing the restlessness of the throng he gets Dreary to blow the horn so we can circle up and be introduced and get the news of other hash events.


Lap Dog Asserting his authority over a new boot at the commencement circle

  1. The new boot from KL was Niki
  2. Full Moon Hash on Saturday July 19 at On-In's and Clutch Bag's
  3. Bike Hash on Friday
  4. Knobslinger had some comments about the great success of the Stampede Hash with numerous visitors from EH3 and VH3

Typical of any hash run, we have a few noteables whoo cannot control themselves. Dreary has to hug all the new boots. I don't know why the RA's let this go on unpunished, but they do.

The Hares: Pole Vault, Hair of the Dog, Squeeky and Sumpyton gave instructions for the run and pointed us on. The keeners for the run were off to the sound of Whale Wanker (a seasoned hasher of 5 years) calling R.U.


Knobslinger Leading the Hash down the Garden Path, with King Shit close behind

This run lacked imagination. Here we are at Bowness Park; you just know you have to cross water somewhere. So what do they have? A wussy crossing.


Whale Wanker is not among the Wussies

The next crossing of this run was beside the bridge. The Seasoned hashers kept their shoes dry.

I'm afraid the scribe for this run must be much more critical than the RA's. The Hares called for a Dreary check. The run was not allowed to proceed until Dreary arrived at the designated check. How dumb! Dreary, as usual, was a frop. What really saved this aspect of the fiasco was that Dreary waited for the rest of the Hash to catch up with him. Many comment were made at this time about how well Whale Wanker was cummin along with the blowing of his strumpet.

After a rathe boring jaunt along the Bow River and some innocuous checks, we came to an exciting part of the trail which was along the same path Whale Wanker chose for his run several weeks earlier. Here we see Krusty taking a photo with Air Brakes in the background, testing his air brakes.


Krusty & Air Brakes

We later meet hares Sumpleton, Squeeky & Hair of the Dog marvelling at the fact that hashers were actually able to find their trail.


The marvellous marvellors Sumpleton, Squeeky & Hair of the Dog in awe of their great achievement

All good things eventually find their end and so it is with this run. The mark we have all been looking for. ON IN! We get back to where we started at the Bowness Park parking lot. Wet clothes are traded for dry and we have only to look forward to an ON ON with friends old and new.


Here we have Baby. The only Cock Asian to run with the Hash this eve. Baby is noted for having set the longest run on the coldest night of the year. It wqas on the Chinese New Year, commemorating the year of the Dog. Good to see you out again Baby. Summer must really be here.
BABY, the Great Cock Asian

The ON ON at the River Inn is always Great! Beer is only $6.50 per jug!! The bar is very clean and without a lot of noise from sources other than the Hash. Whale Wanker was Beer Looter (again!) and did a marvellous job at this onerous task. As usual, he was justly rewarded by always being able to maintain a full mug.


ON IN & 007 enjoying beer of Whale Wanker

A fine time was had by all in attendance.


Krusty hitting on Danita


On In extolling the virtues of hashing to new boot Nicki

The ever so sultry Wannabe casting come hither glances to Whale Wanker. Whale Wanker makes a decision he may regret for the rest of his life as he continues in the service of the HASH performing the ever so onerous task of the beer looter
Wannabe


Pole Vault, Hair of the Dog, Sumpleton and Squeeky are admonished for their efforts of providing a fine run

The RA notice there has been an indiscretion by a hasher attending the Stampede Hash. Skewbic Hare is called front and centre.


BAD BAD Skewbic Hare for losing our revered sacred sceptre the HASHIT to those rascals and scallywags from the wicked north!


Lost It got a down-down for flirting with Dreary


"Summerchild" Baby and "Rabbiter" 007


It was a FINE Hash

On! On! --Whale Wanker

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