RUN No. 741, SUDS and SPUDS

June 16 , 1997

Hares: Wants It, Blue Balls and White Balls (who was obviously lost trying to find his own marks).

The evening began without a hint of the debacle that was to be our run. Warm and sunny in the Kingdom of Came-a-lot. Despite the prior grumblings about runs from Suds and Spuds being done to death, this evening's run would find a way to set itself apart from the rest (the others used marks!)

Lap Dog, who became Hashmaster when the Lady of the Lake helped him remove the sword Excalibur from the woodpecker's hole, invited the rabble to join him at the round table and strode into the center of the amoeba that is our circle.

John, from the far away land of the Knights-Who-Say-One-Thing-and-Mean-Another (Otterwa) was introduced as a new boot in spite of being an Ottawa hasher. P.O. was introduced as being archived and the pack saluted the illustrious pair with a round of introductions.

Some of the most important news of the day was bellowed by P'Tooie, Lakey and Dreary about the 24 Hour relay the preceding weekend. Pyro delivered the objects of the hubbub to the On-On. This year CH3 won two trophies, which everyone can be extremely proud of. First: The Camp Horizon Honour Trophy for the highest pledge earnings in the Recreational Division. Thank you to all who helped raise over $19,700.00. This year we will be helping 78 children attend Camp Horizon. Also: The Keg Spirit Award for being the MOST enthusiastic team in the event.

On an unfortunate note for the competitive bastards on the 24 Hour Relay team, the team finished second in total distance by less than a 1k lap. Luckily this year the organizers were using a new formula which when you factor in total number of beers consumed by registered team members, we won by three circumferences of the Earth.

P'Tooie also announced the second riding of the Bike Hash (COGS) will be on the 28th of June at a time and place which has not been shared with him yet.

There might have been other announcements (something about a 750th run registration form?) but who cares? The hares were called up.

Blue Balls and Wants It came together in the circle and teased us with the expectation that the evening's run might contain some of the standard marks displayed on the round table before us. Taking a bearing southwest, Blue Balls cried ON ON and the Quest for the Holy Ale was on.

With the sound of coconuts clacking the pack ran west taking every early check-back which they would later learn were the only marks they would see alive. Such were the horrors laying wait for them on their quest.

At the bottom of a long bike-path downhill was a check that would send the pack and the run into oblivion. Dreary was the first to follow a shred of trail to the bridge of death where the old man from scene twenty-eight would not let him pass without first answering these questions three: What is your name? Doug...NO, Dreary! But it was too late and he was cast into the endless trail eventually reaching Nose Hill Drive (miles off trail).

The pack was lured into knee deep mountain run-off by Pole Vault and Dreary not calling the check-back, a heinous crime for which they would later pay the ultimate price. Upon their return across the frigid waters the pack was greeted by the wailings of "SUCKERS!" from Blue Balls. This indignity may have been sufficient for the Hash Shit on another night but mere moments later Wants It called the pack "IDIOTS" for not being able to pretend they could see the imaginary trail markings she claims were put down, obviously in another time/phase continuum (but that's another distorted plot line).

After many unmarked miles, Wizards named Tim, Killer Rabbits, Holy Hand-grenades of Antioch, Shrubberies, almost as much shiggy as was poured from the French castle and the occasional massacre, the male hashers still could not find the Castle Anthrax and Bad, Bad Zute. So on they all ran to the On In at Suds and Spuds where the ever attentive staff delivered the true object of our Quest, in frosty jugs, to our tables almost before we sat down.

This and That from the run:

Down-Downs from the On-In, presided over by co-RA's Lakey and Knobslinger :

That and This from the On-In:

ON-ON
Bobbin' Robin


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