Run #1486 - The Grey Cup Hangover

November 30, 2009

Hare: Pyro
Where: Stavro's
Big Rock: Hashers like it!
Attendance:

Click here for Photos!

Calgary Hash House Harries run number 1486! A rather even number, it is:

• The year King Henry VII and Elizabeth of York are married, united the House of Lancaster and the House of York after the War of the Roses.
   
• The Monday following the game when the Saskatchelost Roughrider's inability to count to 12 cost them the Grey Cup
   
• The day Dreary realized he has contributed $3900 to the Calgary Hash
   
• 743 times 2

The Calgary Hash circled up in the parking lot outside of Stavro's Bar and grill on a blustery, cold, and otherwise miserable last day in November.(a few were being kept warm by delicious thoughts of the previous day's Grey Cup victory by Montreal) The opening circle was fast, almost as fast as the howling north wind that had many a hasher grumbling about the cold. Well, except for King Shit and his brother Ayatollah. Growing up in northern Manitoba does have the ability to make one impervious to the cold, or freezes the part of the brain that registers temperature.

As soon as the circle was ended, the pack started off! The trail was a vintage Pyro laid trail with a reasonable amount of check backs, well marked, and long. Many hashers were seen running, not for the joy of physical exertion, but for the necessity of staying warm. Rumor has it that both Baby and Rubber Made were seen "sharing body heat" to stay warm in the cold and windy conditions. When they were asked why Rubber Made's hands were down the front of Baby's pants, they responded with "that is the best place to warm up frozen hands, followed by the arm pits." This scribe was shocked to discover that is in fact true!

Since Pyro wisely decided not to have a regroup(seriously, who really likes beer slushies when it is freezing out? Well, except for those weird people from Manitoba) the hash meandered about Huntington Hills following the trail back to the on in to warm up, have a few beers and eat! It should be noted that when the wind blew just so, you could hear the faint howls of anguish coming from the province next door.

Lost in Space, the guest RA for this run, quickly appointed Hardly and Dreary as choir for the evening festivities. The dynamic duo, 2/3 of the 3 tenors, back up singers for Starship, began by singing themselves a song for the first down down of the evening. The song, which was unknown to the rest of the hash, went off without a hitch, if one overlooks the fact that neither Hardly nor Dreary can carry a tune in a bucket.

• The first down down of the night went to the hare, Pyro. He laid a great run as usual and no complaints were to be found. Quite possibly because Sucks Everything was not in attendance.
   
• Dr. Fill was then brought forth to face his fellow hashers. Apparently the learned one forgot who the hare was. Old age, Alzheimer's, or being distracted by all the lady hashers in spandex. I will leave that for you to decide.
   
• Shutter Slut, he who takes many pictures, but never lets anyone see them, was the recipient of a big "Screw You" down down from the guest RA. Who knew the merciless bad mouthing of the Screaming Green Vaginas would result in free beer?
   
• Oh No Deposit was called up next. What her crime was I'm unable to say, as Lost in Space's notes read something like this: "Oh No Deposit, wow this was bad she ooooh shiny!"
   
• For the hash crime of short cutting to the bar for beers, the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, the Warrior of the Wasteland, The Humongous! Sorry, was carried away. King Shit's brother from the wasteland of northern Manitoba was the guilty party.
   
• Lost in Space, feeling in a generous mood after watching his beloved foosball team give away the Grey Cup, kindly allowed Chick Lick to have a down down. Apparently she does not get to go down very often. I'm just confused.

  
   

• Twisted Sister. Oh Twisty. Brought forth in shame for failing to snitch on her fellow hashers. Personally this scribe thinks she is just keeping track for when her turn at RA arrives.
   
• Rubber Made was also a recipient of free beer for the dastardly crime of being too sweet. Either Lost was hitting on Rubber Made, he was speaking from personal experience, or he forgot who he had originally intended this one for. It was at this point that Baby announced that he and RM had secretly married. Who woulda thunk that one?
   
• Pink Meat was called out in front of the hash. Lost in Space had noticed that she happened to be wearing all of her clothes. All of them. It was also rumored that she tried to borrow a few more once the wind picked up.
   
• His Annoyingness was once again given beer for just being Skewbic.
   
• Xena, Warrior Princess. Her down down consisted of something about a gorilla, 500ml of whipped cream, silk sheets and a water bed. Some things are better left to the imagination.
   
• Dreary marked the occasion of his 1,300th run by drinking a half yard of beer. Claiming an inability to practice, an elbow injury, and the fact the beer was not at the optimal temperature, he failed in his bit to set a new world record. The official time was 20 seconds, and Dreary vowed to practice until he can hit the 12 second mark. A goal worthy of a hasher! .

Two final notes, the newest choir, the Space Cadettes, consisting of Twisted Sister, Rubber Made, and Oh No Deposit sang their newest hit single "You are awesome" serenading Lost in Space as On to Piss was called. Abandoned Pussy was once again not renamed this week.

On-On!

Shutter Slut

Click here for Photos!