Run #1315 - So this is Christmas...

December 25, 2006

Hares: Kebab, Pee-on
Where: Pee-on's Palatial Palace
Big Rock: A Christmas Treat!
Attendance: 12

Baby J's Birthday Hash had just a bit of competition for attention on a cool, breezy, star-lit night in Calgary. There was the Godfather of Soul, James Brown, feeling not so good and dying in an Atlanta hospital at age 73. His body wasn't even cold before his lawyer and accountant prevented his fourth wife from entering their home.

Rumour was that his wives, ex-girlfriends and mistresses and all his kids were going to sit in one section at the funeral, and the cops who he helped keep gainfully employed for decades would be in another. Then there were more pleasant attention grabbers — a young Baryshnikov dancing up a storm on a big-screen TV in the Nutcracker, as well as a youthful David Bowie and Bing Crosby making magic with Little Drummer Boy/Peace of Earth.

Amid all the holiday excitement, a hardy band of hashers gathered in northwest Calgary to experience a trail set in the soft moonlight, and featuring hills, snow and ice, some lost souls and a potent concoction of schnapps and tequila, which could warm even the coldest of hearts.

Co-hares Joanna and Donna (since it was Christmas, this scribe is a hash name-free zone, except for Lamb Balls, who kept jabbering like Aunt Mildred after 12 margaritas) laid a trail that was somewhat confusing in spots, but no one really cared all that much.

Joanna's place, where the hash started and ended, was pretty much a halfway house for world travelers and those passing through — her niece was there for two months but was heading back to Nova Scotia, her daughter was visiting for the holidays but is off again to Australia, etc. etc.

In the shadow of the tropical rain forest in the living room was where Randy and Wallace engaged in a discussion about things such as life in Libya, which doesn't sound much like a place you'd want to visit, much less live or work there.

Louise managed to travel to the hash amid her mountain holiday, which included three rather nasty spills on the slopes. She did appear to have both her arms and both her legs still intact, and was going back for more. Quite the glutton for skiing and snowboarding punishment.

A few did the hash while suffering from turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potato casserole, beer and wine overload. Amazingly, no one rolled down a hill or had to be carried up. Others OD'd on a buffet of rich desserts afterward, then more beer and wine. The guest RA, who shall remain unidentified (just because), almost pulled off one of the fastest hash business sessions in Calgary hash history — except Lamb Nuts wouldn't shut up.

The RA figured that since Baby J was supposedly 2006 years old and couldn't stay up too late, and with the hardest working man in show biz passing away, perhaps it was best that everyone who wanted to do a down-down should just volunteer — so they did. And it was good.