Run #1308 - Big Buns and Small Meat

November 13, 2006

Hares: Blue Balls, assisted by the beautiful Clueless
Where: Pete's Peanut Pub, #30 - 7337 Sierra Morena Blvd SW
Big Rock: $13 per delicious jug
Attendance: 29

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After the West Hills hash, and perhaps during it, probably even the dimmest of bulbs could figure out why West Hills is called West Hills. It's pretty much on the west side of Calgary, check. And there certainly are hills — lots and lots of hills. Big hills, small hills, bigger hills, check, check and check.

Co-hares Blue Balls and the always beautiful, talented, intelligent, sexy (what else did she pay me to say?) Clueless managed to find almost all of them on an icy, chilly mid-November night.

The pack left from Pete's Peanut Pub (Motto: Hey, we'll charge for water. Nothing's free in this world) to navigate the icy streets in high-dollar hoods, past the blue and green Christmas lights adorning large evergreen trees in West Hills' meager answer to Confederation Park, and up a hill and up and up and up some more.

Hashers trudged on a snowy path next to a school, had a chance to slide down an awesome toboggan hill and, in general, try to avoid killing themselves or breaking their legs.

There were even two steep staircases, one icy and one not so much. The icy one led to the screaming downhill at the end and back to the bar, where Guest RA Snevil conducted business and presided over other nonsense:

• Full Throttle was almost a beer magnet, getting one down-down for blowing off the hash because it interfered with her race training, and winning (wink, wink) the Kebab Memorial Hash Thingy for driving to Pete's, even though she only lives half a block away. But she did the down-downs like a trouper, and didn't whine about it — at least not publicly. She wore a contented smile as she relaxed after doing the down-downs — and was even able to drive home.
   
• Then there was Auntie Frank and Hash Test, who attended the hash even though they were leaving the next morning for two weeks in Australia and should have been home packing or something. But dedicated hashers they are, they showed up and were rewarded with a beer.
   
• The Thai Gang — including Dr. Fill, Xena, Pyro and Sticky Lips — managed to survive the hot, humid conditions in Southeast Asia at the World Interhash and returned to hash again in the cold, snowy Great Big North. Tropical heat and humidity vs. sub-zero temps. Hot, spicy Thai food vs. peanuts. They hit the whole spectrum.

  Sticky was complaining about not getting something or other on her trip to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam (and it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for? Don't ask me, I don't give a damn, next stop is Vietnam) and had to drink for it. She later claimed she was referring to Big Rock beer. Of course, one caveat: Sticky is a lawyer and we all know their reputation for truth and veracity.
   

• The songbooks produced by Hardly and Twisty seemed to be quite a hit. The choir is actually singing some different songs besides the old standbys and the crowd even joins in most of the time. Then again, some hashers are too old to see the songbooks without their glasses, so maybe it's not yet a total success.
   
• Bobbin observed the eve of his birthday — how old, old man? — by regaling others with stories about a boyhood friend who was Puerto Rican but went by the nickname Spic, and actually liked it. Then again, the former RA, old What's-Her-Name, still torments Spic's tiny, mega-diminutive 80-year-old mother by asking her if she's gotten any taller. Momma Spic just laughs and laughs.
   
• Clueless managed to use her charm to weasel a jug of free water from the Water Overlords at Pete's. In return, she promised to clean up all the peanut shells on the floor, but then disappeared into the night before actually doing it.<.li>

On On!
Duke of Hurl

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